I don’t think families are mentoring one another in prayer nearly enough. Somehow we think that you just start talking to God and that’s it. But Jesus’s own disciples asked him to teach them to pray! Prayer can feel HARD. It’s called a spiritual DISCIPLINE for a reason. It takes training and practice.
There are so many Christian heroes who can help us learn to pray, but one of my favorites is Corrie ten Boom. Cornelia “Corrie” ten Boom grew up in a devoutly religious family. During World War II, she and her family harbored hundreds of Jews to protect them from arrest by Nazi authorities and, by all accounts, saved nearly 800 lives. Betrayed by a fellow Dutch citizen, the entire family was imprisoned. Her 84-year-old father died shortly after his imprisonment and her sister, Betsie, died just 12 days before Corrie was released from the Nazi camp for reasons unknown. Corrie started a worldwide ministry and later told her story in a book entitled The Hiding Place.
In her 2008 book, I Stand at the Door and Knock: Meditations by the Author of The Hiding Place, Corrie wrote this about prayer: “The wonderful thing about praying is that you leave a world of not being able to do something, and enter God’s realm where everything is possible. He specializes in the impossible. Nothing is too great for His almighty power. Nothing is too small for His love.”
Our guests today are Linda Goodwyn and Jane Heather Clayton, who happen to be sisters-in-law. Jane Heather is raising 7 children with her husband, Roger, and Linda and Lawrence have 4 children, one of whom is married to Renee’s daughter, Emma. Linda is a campus ministry leader for MTSU in middle TN, and Jane Heather dedicates her time to homeschooling those of her children who aren’t yet grown & flown. Both are women of prayer and have grown in that discipline through raising their children.
I looked up several different definitions of prayer and I thought this was a concise one: Prayer is giving our attention to God in a two-way spiritual relationship where we talk to God and also listen to Him.
What would you say prayer is? Both mentioned prayer being a two way communication. The talking part is fairly easy, but the listening part can be harder. How do we distinguish the “voice of God” in our lives? How can we teach our children to do so? We have to be open to the possibility and then tuned in to what arises in our thoughts/hearts. It’s wise to confirm/verify these thoughts with others and to make sure they’re in line with scripture.
How did you help your kids talk AND listen to God?
Even from infancy: In her book, The Children & Family Ministry Handbook, Sarah Flannery writes about prayer as an appropriate spiritual milestone for preschoolers. “Although I cannot prove it, I firmly believe that the preschool years are some of the richest, most important years to instill prayer practices in children. There is no prayer like the prayer of a preschooler. These kids are just learning how to express themselves verbally. What better way to encourage this developmental milestone than by teaching them to pray?” https://www.cokesburykids.com/blog/teaching-kids-to-pray/
How did you pray with your preschoolers?
Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes about the power of praying the Psalms when he was imprisoned. And John Piper notes that praying the Scriptures keeps us from praying prayers that revolve entirely around our immediate private concerns, rather than God’s larger purposes. He notes, “…it seems to me that virtually all the Bible is doing one or more of those four things: something about God, something about what he has done, something about what he expects, something about how we have failed, so that they naturally lead into praise to God, thanks to God, crying for help to God, and confession of sin to God.” https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/how-do-i-pray-the-bible
Preschoolers are good at gratitude (sometimes this is a bedtime delay tactic as they pray for everything from cotton balls to volcanos).
Stop and pray thru moods/behaviors
Prayers before meals, prayers at bedtime, prayers of thanks for good days/pretty sky etc.
How do you pray the Scriptures with your kids?
In an article at TGC entitled, Lord Teach Us – and our Children – to Pray, October 2018, Megan and Jared Kennedy noted that
One lie we believe that keeps us from prayer is that God and the real world aren’t connected. I tend to think that the everyday stuff I do as a mom—cleaning house, getting kids ready for school, finding parking spots—don’t matter to God.
But the Bible combats the artificial distinction I make between the sacred and the mundane. Paul tells us to pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17). I think the only way to truly do that is to pray about normal life. The songwriter who gave us Psalm 104 confirms my suspicions. He sees God at work in everything—from the upper chambers of the heavens to the normal meals we eat every day.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/lord-teach-us-kids-pray/%3famp
How do you and your children give your attention to God throughout the day (to use our earlier definition of prayer) and involve him in everything?
Focus on the Family has an article giving creative ideas to integrate prayer into your days with children:
- A friend told me that when her daughter was younger she used the time in the school drop-off line to pray with her about the day ahead. It was a great parenting tip!
- Every month, each member of our family secretly prayed for a friend, neighbor or relative. We wrote the names of these people on the bottom of our calendar. I added daily checkboxes for each of us to mark when we prayed for them. Not only did my children want to check off the boxes, but they also wanted everyone to succeed, so they would give reminders and offer to pray with another family member.
- I spread out a U.S. map during snack time and piled small treats, such as mini marshmallows, chocolate chips or blueberries, around a state. As my kids munched, I told them the name of the state, some general information and the names of its key leaders such as the governor and senators. Then we prayed for those leaders and the people who lived in that state.
- Teach them about BREATH (1 thess 5:17 pray w/o ceasing); YAH is our inhale; WEH is our exhale. With every breath, we can’t help but say God’s name. Our very aliveness is a praise.
What about answers? How do you help your kids look for God acting in response to their prayers?
Journaling, hi’s/lo’s/how did God speak to you today; talk about your own experiences & growth
What about when God says “no”? This can be in everything from not getting something material that they want to a loved one dying when they prayed for them to live. How do you navigate that?
God can always redeem a situation or use it for good. In the midst of disappointment or confusion with an answer, take the long view and see where this might lead. See who else God puts in your path that only you can help/comfort/minister to as a result of your disappointment.
What connection do dreams and prayer have in the life of a child? Are children more open to this?
Fasting and prayer are intimately connected in Scripture. How do you train kids to that discipline? Should you?
Any final encouragement to moms who are wanting to create a culture of prayer in their homes?