Jesus came that we may have life and have it to the full.
Even when I’m grieving? Even when my heart is broken? Even when I’ve been betrayed or when my health is threatened? Is there abundance THEN?
There’s this weird little verse in Isaiah 6:1…. It reads, “In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a lofty throne and the train of his robe filled the Temple.” In the midst of his greatest grief…this amazing thing happened. Isaiah adored Uzziah (his first cousin), respecting & depending on him. It’s often in our lowest, most broken moments when God shows up….we’re alone with nothing in the way.
God can redeem & restore whatever is broken, no matter how shattered it is. He can restore the years the locusts have eaten.
Sometimes worship & wailing sounds the same. One comes from what God has already done & the other from what we long for Him to do. Bring back a prodigal, heal a marriage, remove a thorn or a curse. (Ezra 3:11-13) Joyful worship, sorrowful repentance, anguished pleading are ALL gorgeous sounds in the house of the Lord.
**We tend to stay away from mourning and dancing. Too afraid to cry, too shy to dance…we become narrow minded complainers, avoiding pain and also true human joy…While we live in a world subject to the evil one, we belong to God. Let us mourn, AND let us dance. –Henri Nouwen
How can we find abundance in suffering rather than just suffering abundantly?
Reminder: American view of abundance vs what Scripture reveals.
Stress
Natural Revelation: God has built clues about stress into the natural world. Trees love stress unless they are very old or very young. Similar to human muscle that thrives with activity and declines with inactivity, so do wood and tree limbs.
Bear with me as I read this explanation from the web:
Biosphere 2 is a cool, slightly kooky idea — a research facility located in Oracle, Arizona. Its mission is to serve as a center for research, outreach, teaching, and lifelong learning about Earth, its living systems, and its place in the universe. It is a 3 acre structure originally built to be an artificial, materially closed ecosystem. It remains the largest closed ecological system ever created.
Think of it as a giant terrarium/reality show/science experiment. But for our purposes, think of it as a really overprotected childhood.
The trees planted there initially grew way faster than they would in the wild. (Think of the trees as maybe SAT scores, or some kind of extracurricular prowess.) And then? Well…
[T]hese trees wouldn’t completely mature. Before they could, they used to collapse. Later it was found that this was caused by the lack of wind in the biosphere. And it turns out, wind plays a major role in a trees life. The presence of wind makes a tree stronger, it is thus able to mature and not fall down due to its own weight.
Here’s a bit more detail about what actually happens when trees don’t get the chance to deal with everyday childhood problems…er…wind:
When plants and trees grow in the wild, the wind constantly keeps them moving. This causes a stress in the wooden load bearing structure of the tree. So, to compensate, the tree manages to grow something called the reaction wood (or stress wood). This stress wood usually has a different structure (in terms of cellulose or lignin content and more) and is able to position the tree where it’d get the best light, or other optimum resources.
So a little bit of stress toughens the tree AND teaches it how to take care of itself — how to get what it needs to survive and thrive.
No stress? No stress wood. No ability to deal with life. The trees aren’t just weathering the stress, they’re BENEFITING from it.
CHANGE
Some personalities like change better than others. Change stretches us and uses muscles we aren’t accustomed to. (The only person who likes change is a wet baby.)
As women, we should be experts at change! Our physical bodies constantly remind us of it! We go from “our changing bodies” at 12-13-14 to a monthly reminder of this. (Insta Reel of menopause) Traditionally, we change our NAMES when we get married. Our bodies change in incredible ways with pregnancy & delivery of a baby. (hello, lifetime of Kegels). Then, where we’re currently living—they actually CALL menopause “The Change”.
If we’re raising kids, we know they seem to be in a constant timeline of change & transition:
- growth spurts
- mobility (learning to crawl & walk)
- starting school, learning to read……
Caregiving often falls to us—when the health of someone we love fails, when our parents age and our parent-child roles reverse. It was women who traditionally prepared & dressed bodies for burial/funerals when the ultimate life change occurred.
If there’s any group who should be familiar & comfortable with change, it’s women! Why are we so resistant to it? Why does it always seem so surprising & painful?
Why are we surprised by it? Why is it hard?
Remember: Suffering is doubly hard when you’re surprised by it. All civilizations but ours expected suffering and change. Replace the lie that something is wrong with me with the truth that how I weather this is going to make me stronger. This is part of the abundant life Jesus was talking about.
For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert. The parched ground shall become a pool; and the thirsty land, springs of water. Isa 35:6-7
Psalm 56:8 NLT
You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
My (Renee’s) favorite: Psalm 84
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Weeping,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.[d]
They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
Empty Nest Change
Family of 4 to 7 in 3 years. When our rhythms and life stages change, it can hurt. It can be disorienting and get us off-kilter. (retirement, empty nest, a new baby or grandbaby, loss)… as Christians, we have a CONSTANT. Jesus is protecting and securing us in our sheepfold. We can reorient and steady ourselves through the storms if we are anchored.
Solitude
Mark 1:35-37 Jesus, where have you been? Everyone’s looking for you.
Can’t we relate as women? The bathroom door is meaningless when you have toddlers. Hurt feelings, broken hearts, husband wants some sexy time, classroom volunteering, night feedings, elderly parents, friends in need. We tend to be excellent pour-er outers. But… no (or not right now) is a complete sentence and it’s ok to sometimes say it. Jesus did.
Jesus teaches us the importance of not neglecting the quiet & solitary. Guard small moments of solitude & give them to God. Give Him the “first fruits” of your rest.
Jesus regularly withdrew from demands & distractions. Not just for me-time and to get away. To pray.
- Before important decisions (Lk 6:12-13),
- when a friend dies (Mtt 14:10-13),
- at life’s daily demands (Lk 5:15-16),
- at the pressure of popularity (Mtt 14:23),
- before important events (Mtt 17: 1-3)
Isaiah 51:2: “Abraham was alone when I called him. But when I blessed him, he became a great nation.” What God does in you when you’re alone will be the difference maker.
Ask Jesus when you can have solitary time with Him. (Story of Susanna Wesley who threw apron over her head, story of Renee asking when to meet with God)
Story of Susanna Wesley
Read: If a passing stranger walking through the rural village of Epworth, England, on any given day between 1700 and 1720 had peered through the window of the home of the rector of the local Anglican church, he might have caught sight of something quite strange. Depending on the time of day, this observer might have seen a woman sitting in a chair with her kitchen apron pulled up over her head while ten children read, studied, or played all around her.
Two of those ten children would have been little boys — John and Charles — who would grow up to shape the course of Christian history and thus change the world. The woman under the apron would have been Susanna Wesley, who assumed this odd posture for two hours almost every day.
Who was Susanna Wesley?
- 25th of 25 children
- Married at 19
- Delivered 19 children: 9, including 2 sets of twins, died in infancy
She suffered towards abundance
- her husband was a bad match for his vocational assignment of pastor (academic in a rural location);
- he got involved politically and drew the hatred of many;
- Not once but TWICE their parsonage burned down likely due to arson by dissenters in the area;
- He was ill-suited to farmwork so she managed the farm;
- for decades he expended his energies and a lot of their money on a treatise on the book of Job while his ACTUAL wife was suffering
- She was also responsible to run the home (delegating chores to all kids and the help) and to manage the education of her 10 children, school was from 9am-noon and 2pm-5pm six days a week
Early in her life, she vowed that she would never spend more time in leisure entertainment than she did in prayer and Bible study. Even amid the most complex and busy years of her life as a mother, she still scheduled two hours each day for fellowship with God and time in His Word, and she adhered to that schedule faithfully. The challenge was finding a place of privacy in a house filled to overflowing with children.
Solitude Among Others
Mother Wesley’s solution to this was to bring her Bible to her favorite chair and throw her long apron up over her head, forming a sort of tent. This became something akin to the “tent of meeting,” the tabernacle in the days of Moses in the Old Testament. Every person in the household, from the smallest toddler to the oldest domestic helpers, knew well to respect this signal. When Susanna was under the apron, she was with God and was not to be disturbed except in the case of the direst emergency. There in the privacy of her little tent, she interceded for her husband and children and plumbed the deep mysteries of God in the Scriptures. This holy discipline equipped her with a thorough and profound knowledge of the Bible.
Example of friend fasting from and fasting toward: Immediately obeying God’s voice when she sensed it.
- Immediately
- Completely
- Without Challenge
- Without Complaint
What happens when we start to suffer? What do we ask?
- Renee: What did I do to bring this on myself?
- Bonnie: Why me and not them?
Remember the Biosphere! How will I know if I will turn the other cheek if I’m not offended? How will I know if I trust myself, body and soul, in life and in death, if my body doesn’t start to break? Stress wood is being built.
Concept of Anti-fragile
Naseem Taleb wrote a book some years ago called Antifragile that helps explain this phenomena for us as humans.
He describes this concept of being antifragile this way:
Some things benefit from shocks; they thrive and grow when exposed to volatility, randomness, disorder, and stressors and love adventure, risk, and uncertainty. Yet, in spite of the ubiquity of the phenomenon, there is no word for the exact opposite of fragile. Let us call it antifragile. Antifragility is beyond resilience or robustness. The resilient resists shocks and stays the same; the antifragile gets better.
Another way to think of it is: anything that has more upside than downside from stressful events. An egg will not benefit from having a 5lb weight put on it, but your body can become stronger through similar stresses.
A snowboarder is antifragile because he or she has learned how to fall while going downhill at high speeds. Or a surfer can be antifragile because by trying to ride wave after wave, they’ve learned how to fall off their surfboard without seriously injuring themselves.
Bonnie: horseback riding
Why don’t we hear lessons about how to fall???
Self-talk, Psalms, and Suffering
Many of the Psalms acknowledge that this is the way the world works. Lots of really difficult stresses happen because of how everything fell apart in the beginning. The author of Psalm 94 is under a lot of stress. One thing that the Psalms do again and again is acknowledge how bad things are. Acknowledge the stress. But they don’t stay there. They move to reminding themselves of the truth. In Psalm 94, there are some things the author is reminding others of but in the process, he’s also reminding himself of the truth:
You who aren’t wise, pay attention… Does he who made the ear not hear? Does he who formed the eye not see? …The Lord knows what people think… blessed is the person you correct… 13 You give them rest from times of trouble…He will never desert those who belong to him. (Selected verses: Psalm 94:8-15)
He’s not denying reality. He’s not denying emotion. He’s looking for God to act. He’s reminding himself of the truth.
Summary: No abundance without suffering. BUT suffering is not a guarantee of abundance. Lots of people waste their suffering. Example of marriages who overcome hardships: https://ifstudies.org/blog/we-got-this-family-cohesion-in-trying-times
A report on how the Great Recession of the early 2000’s affected marriages and individuals’ marital commitment: more than half of the respondents reported that the recession had strained their marriage, but, still, 58% reported the deepening of commitment to their marriage. We believe that when relationships grow during adversity, there can often be a stronger sense that “we did that, we got through this,” and that sense of resilience can be very beneficial.
Steward your suffering well. (Parable of the Talents in Mtt 25) Listen to Jesus and narrate your life well. (Tell yourself a true story with a hopeful bent.)
ABIDE = ABUNDANCE
No coincidence these 2 words share the same root. John 15:5,7
Human being vs human doing
Often in the midst of suffering/uncertainty/pain/change, we feel that feeling “there’s nothing I can do” or “there’s nothing to be done.” When we get to that spot, I think God’s got us exactly where He’s wanted us all along. All we can do is ABIDE in Him, and that’s the very thing that brings life to the desert.
Not just as in “keep believing in.” We can’t think our way to being Christlike. This is a good c of C value, but information DOES NOT EQUAL transformation. Doesn’t matter if you’ve memorized all 4 gospels if you don’t KNOW your shepherd’s voice and GO where He leads you.
Abide means to remain or stay. 50 times John uses some form of this–abide, dwell, remain, stay. Another word that has this root? Abode….HOME. The place we LIVE. A permanent residence, not just a VRBO.
[We know all about home! We’re the “masters of our homes” and even our very BODIES can become a home during the 9 months of pregnancy. Babies in utero—they’re the perfect visual of ABIDING. Surrounded completely by everything they need, safe, assured. They’re doing NOTHING but abiding. Are they bearing fruit? Do you know how fast cells are multiplying in a developing baby? Even in their “rest” they are bearing fruit like crazy, growing and maturing. The way each of us is created—is this cool micro version of what God’s trying to get us to keep doing the rest of our lives as we ABIDE IN HIM.]
Let’s say Jesus spent 12 hours a day for 3 years with the disciples. That’s something like 13,000 hours together…and it’s safe to say they weren’t catching on. An hour a day isn’t abiding. A plant doesn’t grow if you dip it in soil once a week. Our invitation isn’t to VISIT the Vine…it’s to ABIDE in it.
John 15:5…I am the vine & you are the branches. Whoever ABIDES in me and I in him, he it is that BEARS MUCH FRUIT, for apart from me you can do nothing. Fruit bearing DEPENDS ON abiding. Abiding is the path to abundant fruitfulness. God calls us to faithfulness & HIS results are the FRUIT.
And…. Vines are pruned to bear fruit. That’s suffering. It shouldn’t be surprising! We should be expecting it.
Knowing vs Knowing
Many of us KNOW we are in union with Christ. We know we’re grafted onto that Vine, but we don’t FEEL it, especially when life is tough. Fortunately, our emotions aren’t the highest indicator of truth. Emotions will submit to truth every time! Worship & God’s Word bring our emotions back in line with the truth of our status—who and Whose we are. Like John, WE ARE “the one Jesus loves.” (John 11: 3,5)
I am a saint example (Lissy). “To the saints in Ephesus…”
William Barclay: It may well be that the whole trouble in our lives is that we give God no opportunity to speak to us, because we don’t know how to be still & listen; we give God no time to recharge us with spiritual energy and strength because there’s no time when we wait upon Him. How can we shoulder life’s burdens if we have no contact with Him who is the Lord of all good life?
We tend to stare at our lives and glance at God. We want to stare at God & glance at our lives. A reversal of posture. Some of us, when we’re “surviving,” visit prayer but abide in noise. (Numbing behaviors) We visit scripture but abide in our phones or kids or…
Psalm 46:10 doesn’t say: Be productive & know that I am God. (Fire!!!!)
We often say as women we have so much to do, it would be great to clone ourselves. We’re half kidding but truth is, we actually should BE two places at once… Jesus was busy. Susanna Wesley was busy.
Getting still in the crowds and the noise
Testimony of Suffering and Self-Talk
Renee
- Always wanted to be a mom
- Had first child
- Sleepless nights, nursing issues, physical recovery etc.
- What’s wrong with you?
- No one else is probably struggling this badly.
- What kind of a person doesn’t like getting up with their baby?
- This will never end. My life will never be the same.
- I had great anxiety but I didn’t know how to get the consolation I needed!
- Story your tell yourself becomes your reality
- I eventually talked myself into depression. I fantasized about driving away…
Bonnie
- Had a close relationship with my mom
- When I was 23, cancer diagnosis & within a year, she had died (the age I am now)
- 10+ years of being angry, disappointed, disillusioned
- You must not have deserved to have a mom
- You’re not going to be capable as a mother
- You probably should try to control everything so nothing bad will ever happen again
Now, when each of these thoughts came into my mind, I could replace them with the truth:
- Renee: What’s wrong with you? This is really hard; you’re doing your best.
- Bonnie: God doesnt hear you. He aches with you & stores up your tears.
- Renee: You’re a bad mom because you hate getting up in the night to take care of your baby. You’re a good mom because you ARE getting up in the night with your baby.
- Bonnie: Control will make things better. GOD is in control & loves your children WAY more than you do. Your Father works all things out to His glory.
- Renee: No one else is probably struggling this badly. This is a struggle for you and you are showing extraordinary love to your daughter by doing something that is so hard for you.
Thank you that those of us who are recovering perfectionists, the keeper-together-ers, the list makers and house-runners. We RECEIVE Jesus. We don’t ACHIEVE Him. Abundance isn’t found in striving. Praying harder, serving more…. It’s simply in ABIDING and receiving the gifts He’s so eager to give.
Thank you that your Word says that we can even “Consider it pure joy whenever we face trials of many kinds, for we know that the testing of our faith develops perseverance. And perseverance will finish its work in us to make us mature and complete lacking nothing.” Not lacking a little bit. Lacking nothing. Thank you that you never desert us, that you are with us always, even to the end of this age. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Conclusion
Abundance gives us overflowing peace, joy, patience, kindness, hope, mercy, grace…. (a.k.a. FRUIT of the Vine). It’s both for our own gain & for giving away.