The US has over 634,000 day care centers. 58% of working parents with children five & younger — or about 6.38 million parents across the nation — use center-based child care options, according to estimates from the National Household Education Survey.
May 2021 article by the Institute for Family Studies concerning the use of daycare across whites, blacks, and hispanics:
Juggling work and family responsibilities is a challenge for many families today, especially parents with young kids. Even so, only 35% of parents prefer using any kind of paid child care (18% prefer paid full-time and 17% prefer paid part-time child care arrangements), while 58% say that they prefer their kids be cared for by either a parent (47%) or a family member (11%). To be able to do that, these families would have one parent stay at home, or both parents work part time and share care, or rely on other family members, such as grandparents, to care for their kids under age 5.
Using various studies, the Institute for Family Studies found that 30% of American children ages 0-4 are primarily cared for at a child care center, 18% are primarily cared by a relative (e.g. grandparents), 8% are primarily cared by a non-relative, and 42% are primarily cared for by their parents.
Looking at parents’ education level, we find that both white and non-white young children with college-educated parents are more likely than their peers with less-educated parents to be cared at a child care center. In fact, for kids with college-educated parents, they are more likely to be cared at child care centers than by parents. For children whose parents do not have a college degree, the opposite is true.
Full disclosure: We had our kids in the 90’s and we were both able to be SAHMs while our spouses were the primary wage earners.
Did we ever use daycare? (Bonnie: I did once, for half a day). Then, we both eventually did half day mother’s day out a couple of times/week as a pre-school option. This was operated by our church.
That’s us. We know that not everyone gets to make that choice freely, and many women want to maintain a career outside the home while raising children. It’s a tough gig with a lot to balance.
The entry of so many women into the labor force has been good for the economy, good for society and good for women themselves (I would add that it has been good for men as well). But we are wrong when we imply or assume that full-time mothers have made an unworthy choice.
Christina Hoff Sommers (Freedom Feminist) notes:…
Earlier waves of feminism promoted the belief that women “belong” in the workplace, so that they can live to their full potential as productive and self-reliant individuals. Shouldn’t it be up to individual women how they choose to realize their potential? Isn’t there more than one way to live a worthy life?
“We should all be pro-choice when it comes to determining a woman’s place.” –Christina Hoff Sommers
She notes:
The women’s movement was about freedom and equality. It was not about imposing a single life-model on all women. Women are diverse and have different preferences about balancing work and family. Ms Basch’s insistence that women must be in the workplace is just as bad as the old diktat that “women belong in the home”. It is unfortunate that women’s advocates have talked themselves into opposing this natural and wholesome diversity.
Our goal should not be to increase the GDP of a nation; our goal should be to live fulfilling and productive lives. For some, that will include paid work; for others, caring for children; for still others, charitable work. Yes, many women have to work full-time. But polls and surveys show that many women, especially those with young children, would prefer another arrangement. Shouldn’t we have a women’s lobby dedicated to helping women achieve what they want, rather than what it believes they should want?
Consider what is going on in the Netherlands. Dutch women are arguably the freest, best-educated and happiest people in the world. In studies of life satisfaction and well-being, Dutch women (and men too) consistently score at the top. But more than 70% of Dutch working women work part time—and when asked if they would like to work more, the vast majority say no. Is it because they are held back by inadequate child-care policies? No, even childless women and those with grown children abjure full-time employment. “It has to do with personal freedom,” says Ellen de Bruin, a Dutch psychologist and the author of “Dutch Women Don’t Get Depressed”. “What is important,” she says, is that “women in the Netherlands are free to choose what they want to do.”
But the Netherlands would get failing grades for workplace equity in the World Bank or UN reports cited by Ms Basch. (A UN equity committee recently censured the Netherlands for the “low number of women who are economically independent”.) A 2010 Slate article is less censorious: “Women in the Netherlands work less, have lesser titles, and a big gender gap, and they love it.” The author concludes by advising her American sisters, “Maybe we should relax and go Dutch.”
That may not be the answer for all women, but it has to be a respected option. Those who chose it do not deserve a scolding. I suspect that the Netherlands is leading the way to the next great wave of feminism. Call it Freedom Feminism, Happiness Feminism, Feminism 4.0.
Today we have with us as our guest, BJ SMITH, who happens to own a long-standing day care business here in our town of Murfreesboro to give us the low down on day care & kids.
BJ intro—how long owned business. Liberal Studies Degree with a double emphasis in Education and Child Development/Family Studies. Married to Jeremy Smith and they have three girls, Madie, Peyton, and Miley
What is your favorite thing about it?
The kids! I got into teaching and education because I love children and wanted to TEACH them. The public school system makes it tough to do that sometimes, so when this opportunity came along, I took it.
If a parent plans to use a day care option for their child, what sorts of things might they look for? …
You’re probably going to need to get on a wait list or two as soon as you know you’re pregnant (or before). Wait lists can be 9 months or more. At Tot’s Spot, BJ’s day cares, children are accepted as early as 6 wks old, and their classes go up to age 5-6 (when kids are ready to start school).
HOW TO FIND A DAY CARE
All child care centers are not created equal. You don’t necessarily “get what you pay for” either. More expensive doesn’t necessarily mean better. You’re going to want to tour a few, and tour them more than once. Get recommendations from other trusted families. Be prepared for those wait lists and have a plan B or C.
When you visit, here are some questions to ask:
The Daily Routine
- What’s your general philosophy on childcare?
- How many children currently attend the daycare, and how many children are you licensed for? What is your child-to-caregiver ratio? (Note: an ideal ratio for infant daycare is two to three children for every one adult; for toddlers, it shouldn’t be more than six children for every one adult)
- Do you provide meals and snacks? If so, what do you serve, and can you provide a printed menu? How do you accommodate food allergies? If food must be provided by parents, do you have nutritional guidelines or foods that aren’t allowed? If babies are taking bottles, how do you handle frozen or pumped breast milk or formula preparation?
- What is the daily schedule or routine, and is it flexible to accommodate the specific needs of the children? What kinds of activities do you provide? How often do the children play outside?
- How do you handle discipline or behavioral problems? For instance, how do you handle biting, hitting or bullying situations?
- Do you require families to provide diapers? (If your family uses cloth diapers: Are you comfortable changing cloth diapers?)
- What is your potty training procedure?
Policies
- Can parents drop by whenever they’d like or swing by to breastfeed? What are your visitation policies in general? Who else is allowed to visit during care?
- What is your policy on late pick-up and absences?
- What’s your sick-child policy? What are your policies regarding immunizations?
- Do you transport children in a vehicle? Where would you go? (Ask to see the vehicle or bus, verify auto insurance and inspect the seating arrangements.)
- What are the tuition and fees, and what is the payment schedule? Is there a waitlist? Are there any types of discounts available (paying in advance, second sibling discount, etc.)?
Safety and Communication
- How do you keep parents up to date on their kid’s daily activities or behavior? Do you offer a daily report? Do you send photos and videos throughout the day? Do you offer periodic check-ins regarding a child’s development or progress?
- What security measures do you take for your facility?
- How, and how often, do you sanitize the toys and materials used by the children?
- Are you licensed? Are you accredited? By whom? (Be sure to get a copy of the license number for future reference.)
- Do you have references I can contact?
Daycare Staff
- What degrees, certifications or training does your staff have? Do you conduct background checks on all your employees?
- How long has the current staff been here? Do you experience high employee turnover?
- Do you have a nurse on staff for medical care? Is your facility licensed to administer medicine and/or emergency allergy treatments?
The daycare director should provide their license number, which you can look up using your state’s database to view all inspections and any violations for free. You can also search the National Database of Child Care Licensing Regulations to find your state’s specific requirements for daycare centers.
COSTS
Childcare in the US is the fastest rising expense for families, over mortgages, gas, groceries, etc. I saw someone comment online the other day that in MA, the average for daycare is $20k/year. Their particular family (who lives outside Boston) spends $40k/yr: 1 at daycare, 1 PreK, and big $ for a sitter because after school programs don’t start until Kindergarden.
They joined 6 wait lists to get a spot, which meant a few hundred dollars on nonrefundable fees in addition.
More than half (59%) of families are budgeting to spend more than $10,000/yr. The average in state tuition for college is $9580 annually… so child care can be more expensive than college! The Department of Health & Human Services established 7% of family income as the benchmark of affordable childcare. But, according to a 2024 report, families are spending an average of 24% of their income on childcare. 60% of families spend 20% or more.
Tips for parents to count that cost?
Lay out the numbers way ahead of time! Before you start thinking of having children if possible! It could be that you’re dependent on two incomes to pay off student debt or save for a home, or you need it for health insurance. Factor all that in when deciding what childcare is worth to you. Yes, staying out of the workforce can affect your social security, your seniority and your career path, but often it’s only for a few years and the income often isn’t enough to offset what you’re paying/sacrificing.
Are there ways you can have the best of options? Maybe you have only part time day care and you continue to work part time, and you have a grandparent, other parent, or trusted friend step in once or twice a week? (Be wary of in-home day care situations, which seem good on the surface but are not regulated and do not have accountability!!).
Can you walk us through a typical day in the life at a day care? What time frame? What activities?
Many of the activities are regulated by the state. For example, we have to serve certain types of meals that include a variety of food items. Rest time is required for 2 hours/day. We open at 6:00 and close at 6. Some children stay with us that entire time; some have a different caregiver pick them up after nap in the midday. Some (like teachers or those on different work schedules) pick their children up as soon as they’re done with their own work day.
What would you say are some of the biggest struggles you notice families having when it comes to daycare? Cost? The decision itself? Illness/contact with other kids?
Let’s talk about the kiddos. These are typically children from a few weeks old to a pre-school or kindergarten setting (so age 5-6). The biggest struggle is with parents having a hard time with this decision. There’s a sadness being separated from your child. In reality, we are spending much more time with the children than their parents are (in many cases). We’re giving them their daily routine, we’re potty training them, we’re soothing them through teething and teaching them to be kind to others. Although we keep parents in the loop every day, it’s hard for parents to miss the milestones and time. Parents frequently operate out of guilt because of that. Things their kids are doing easily at day care (eating lots of different foods, sleeping regularly, for example), parents don’t want to enforce at home because they may only have a few hours at the end of a long day with their kids and they don’t want that to be full of conflict, so they cave. Kids know the difference!
Cost is definitely a growing factor, too.
What would you say are some of the biggest highlights for children in daycare?
As a teacher in the public school system for several years, we could always tell those children who had been in daycare settings and those who hadn’t. Kids from day care are generally more socialized and adapt to school settings easier. They learn to make friends and look forward to seeing those friends. They definitely develop relationships with their teachers as well.
There’s some research that down the road kids who’ve been in daycare experience differences in mental health (more anxiety, depression, etc.) but it depends on what you measure. They’re also more socialized and probably have a tougher immune system from having been exposed to illnesses earlier. They may tend to be a bit ahead on kindergarten skills, but in the long run that isn’t critical. Kids in a home setting or in a preschool setting will eventually catch up by the end of the kindergarten year, so any perceived academic head start evens out.
IFS: In conclusion, there also appears to be a cultural story operating in the choice to use daycare full-time, part-time, or not at all.
Less educated and affluent parents may be more likely to view their profession as a job than as a career.
Higher-income parents are more likely to see their job as playing a central role in giving their lives meaning and purpose, a phenomenon dubbed “workism.” (This is the idea that work plays a central role in giving our lives meaning, purpose, and even a sense of happiness.)
Those without a college degree, on the other hand, are less likely to give their career pre-eminence, and seem more likely to find it best to have their young children cared for by parents or kin rather than at a child care center.