On today’s episode we’re talking about another one of the 4 temperaments—the way a child is built socially/emotionally/relationally. There are lots of ways to categorize temperaments (Enneagram, Myers/Briggs, etc.), but to simplify the concept, we’ve divided the four basic temperaments into colors, which is easier to remember for busy overloaded parents!
About a couple of thousand years ago Hippocrates saw that people behaved in roughly four basic patterns that are known as temperaments. In more modern times David Keirsey began investigating temperaments again. He called the four temperaments: Rational (NT) [Analysing Green], Guardian (SJ) [Organized Gold], Artisan (SP) [Resourceful Orange], and Idealist (NF) [Authentic Blue].
Proverbs 22:6 (Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it) may well be referring to the temperaments and a word of advice to wise parents who discern their child’s tendencies early and work within them to teach, correct, and motivate a child.
On today’s episode, we’re looking at the child with an ORANGE temperament.
Children with the orange temperament love surprises and adventures. They have little difficulty with change b/c their attitude is “great, what’s next?!” They tend to be easy-going and flexible. While some children struggle when they’re not on a routine or schedule, orange children (even when very young) may resist naps and routine in favor or spontaneity. They have big-time FOMO and don’t want to waste an afternoon on sleep!
Orange children tend to be warm, lively and fun. They’re typically extroverts and not only LIKE people but NEED people. This need isn’t the same emotional/relational need that the blue temperament needs people; orange temperaments tend to crave approval and want to be liked. They like being the center of attention, the life of the party. They want to be where the action is.
Orange children tend to be optimistic and positive. Anything is possible! They need freedom and space to do things in their own “out of the box” way. They don’t like being weighed down with details and explanations.
Oranges can be impractical and disorganized. They say they thrive in their chaos but it doesn’t always go over well when you’re asking them to clean their room.
They thrive on competition and performance. They take risks. (Ex: class clowns, will run for student president or club offices, might be the lead in the school play or a popular student influencer). They “know” everyone (or everyone knows them…they may not remember your name).
If this resonates with you as how one of your children behaves (or yourself, or your spouse!), how best can you relate?
Motivation: the WAY you compliment/praise a child most effectively is different depending on their temperament. (We say this all the time: YOU know your child! Kids aren’t all alike.)
Motivation tools for an orange child: High-five! Oranges tend to be physical and can be motivated by a fun activity or family game night.
For corrections, or consequences, we often isolated our orange child and would check back to see they were getting their attitude straight. Isolation works well because they are so motivated to be with others.
Oranges may often apologize quickly and rush through a heart matter just to “get it over with” and get back in the game. They hate conflict. They want to be liked and “approved of,” so be sure they can say what it was they did wrong and why it was wrong before accepting a quick superficial apology.
When it comes to school settings….. oranges can have a hard time in school. There’s so much routine, schedule, structure, order that it drives them a little nuts. They need movement, exploration, socialization, and competition. Your typical American grade school classroom doesn’t mesh with that—especially for boys.
So, orange students will get in trouble for talking excessively, being a prankster, not keeping their hands to themselves, rushing through work to get to something more fun, doing something for a laugh, etc… If this goes on long enough without an outlet, you’ll find 90% of high school dropouts are orange. School is Booorrrinnggg…. Perhaps an unconventional school environment would suit them better? Montessori? Home school? Or if you can find a teacher who “gets it,” it can really help. (sitting on an exercise ball during class or being allowed to stand.)
They’re kinesthetic learners (need movement and interaction to process & learn; doers rather than observers). Playing through a math game is much better than 3 pages of math problems. Or, if they can be allowed to “doodle” during a lecture, they can pay attention better.
They want color, pattern, music! (many of these things can be insanely distracting and overstimulating to a green temperament…see how this gets interesting if you have a “rainbow” under one roof?!)
If you as a parent have this temperament—think about how this may impact your child of a different color. Is your spontaneity and unpredictability stressing out your child? Does your need to be around people and be social all the time drain your introverted green child? How do you react to hesitancy/timidity in your child (who may not like risk as much as you)?
Orange children (because they’re competitive) can be argumentative in games/sports or poor losers. They may always want to be first (in line, to play, to eat, to get in the car, etc…)….watch this tendency & teach them to think of others!
Besetting Sin
Each of the temperament types is also associated with a negative tendency, or what the folks over at Parenting Made Practical call a “besetting sin.” It’s a trait that’s a natural tendency but if left unchecked or unrefined, can become an ugly aspect of someone.
For the orange temperament, this can show up as lying or dishonesty.
Oranges avoid conflict and want acceptance, so they will often lie to get out of trouble, to be liked. Parents will need to turn on their radar for this & work on elevating the opposite virtues of honesty, truth, self-control.
They may be astonished when confronted with their lying because it comes easily to them. They are great story tellers (life of the party), but they may exaggerate to make it funnier or to make themselves look better. They may not even perceive the lie. You’ll need to teach them that lying takes lots of forms:
- Telling half-truths
- Leaving out significant facts
- Spinning the fact
- Exaggerating
- Saying “I forgot” or “I don’t remember” if asked to do something & you find they didn’t
If this is a problem or has become an issue for one of your children, you can’t assume your child is ever telling the truth until they’re characterized by truthfulness….which may be a years’ long process! Do your detective work.
LYING-—
- it destroys trust (to please others, not breaking trust will be a motivation)
- God sees all lying as sin
- Catch them being honest/truthful (no matter how small) & praise for that!
- Work with him/her on learning how to deal with conflict instead of avoiding it
- Work with him/her on graciously accepting consequences (or coming up with their own) so they won’t lie to avoid correction.
- If they say “I forgot” all the time, you can have them sit (in isolation) as a consequence until they “remember.” When they learn they can’t do anything else until they remember, their minds kick into gear quickly!