Today’s topic might fuel some conversation around your family dinner table, especially if you’ve got older elementary kids or tweens.
Here’s a question: how do you know if your child’s current interests are “worth it?” Worth the money, time, and energy; worth the schlepping to and from lessons, wrestling with their boredom or waning interest when things get hard? It’s a tough question, and we’ve done some episodes on how to know when to quit just for that reason.
Today’s guest is RENEE HARRIS, a mom who’s got some skin in the game. There are NINE children in her family (6 boys, 3 girls), and their approach to this question has been out-of-the-box, so we were interested to talk to her. Maybe it’ll make you look at your child’s talents in a different way, too.
WELCOME RENEE. Intro [Husband & wife team, Jonathan and Renee, have over 20 years of experience homeschooling their kids while running an online handcrafted skin care business. ]
They’re from northern California. A job layoff forced a pivot in their family to start a family business, and it was all hands on deck. This ended up changing the way they thought about contribution to the family and how everyone could help.
You & your husband Jonathan have this strategy you’ve used successfully now with 6 of your kids. You call it “Parent their Passion.” Tell us about that. What is it & how does it work?
When their eldest son turned 12, it became very clear to them that they did not want their children to just fill up buckets of knowledge for each school grade. They experimented with making their son’s traditional study materials support the development of a marketable talent that made sense to his strengths,abilities, and unique drive.
By the time he graduated from high school, he already had his own aerial drone business and was able to fully support himself financially.
How do you know if your child’s current interests are worth it?
Let’s say you’ve invested hours into weekly piano lessons – her posture is good, she’s got the finger positioning down, the plunking of keys every afternoon is beginning to sound like music. Is it worth it?
He begged to play basketball and proved to be pretty decent at it. You give up family dinner time for weeknight practice and cheer from the sidelines every weekend in order to support your young player. Will it matter?
Maybe it’s a technology interest. HTML, JavaScript, Python … those are valuable, right? You just need to figure out what direction they should take with it and what path they should follow.
Here’s the secret to knowing if their interest is worth pursuing:
- What if by the time your child graduated from high school, he had a valuable skillset that was actually PROFITABLE, one that could help pay his way through college, showcase a portfolio of skills, and/or land him his dream job?
- What if her passion was something that served not just her own personal desires, but was something specifically sought after by your friends and relatives, and she had the opportunity to serve the needs of others?
- What if his long-term talent was something that didn’t mean your family was spread in different directions every weeknight, sacrificing the family dinner for yet another soccer practice?
“If their interest or passion could lead to all of that, it’s worth pursuing!”
This perspective on the one hand seems tailor made for the entrepreneurial kid. It kind of fits with the American dream of making your own way. On the other hand, some part of me wants to zero in on the concept of WORTH and what makes something WORTHY.
Are you saying we should disregard something our kids might be interested in if we can’t make it profitable somewhere down the line? Maybe their love of playing the drums isn’t going to lead to a big music career, but isn’t there some “worth” in the sheer love of doing it? The stress release? The creative impulse for its own sake?
Every child has talent and potential. How do you help them discover & build that talent?
If you go to the Harris’ website, parenttheirpassion.com, you’ll find an “interests worksheet” there that you can go through with your child.
developing lifelong skills and talent that bring real value to others.
igniting a passion.
start with an interest, get past the frustration of having the initial novelty of the interest wear off (to the point where they might get bored with it), and then watch their motivation and passion come to life when they find that what they’re doing is exciting and brings value to other people. Don’t give up too soon! True talent is a process
You homeschooled your kids & tailored their curriculum to fit this system. You had the advantage of taking a 10,000 hrs approach because your time was yours to structure. What would you tell parents of kids who aren’t homeschooled? Is this off the table?
It would definitely be harder and take longer, but engaged middle and high school teachers recognize motivated students and can work with you to help your student zero in on a focus or interest.
Are you actively discouraging a degree (& the debt that often comes with that) with your kids? If they wanted to go that route, what would your advice be? (It’s still true you need a college degree for certain interests…accounting, law, medicine….)
If they wanted to pursue these things and a college degree, they certainly have that choice. We’re not in a position to pay for nine college educations, so they would most likely be responsible for helping finance that choice.
When do you recommend starting this with your kids? (age 12?)
Tell us what your kids are doing now (the ones who’ve used this strategy). Do you notice a difference in confidence & “launchability” between them and peers their age?
This seems very transferrable. If, down the road, your son decides drone operation is a narrowing field or it becomes harder for some reason to find income that way, he’d already know how to take an interest and see what opportunities that might lead to.