You’re probably painfully familiar with New Year’s resolution statistics, if only because you’re one of them: Whether it’s a small goal or a huge, life-changing goal, people tend to fail at the same rate: Approximately 80 percent of people who make New Year’s resolutions have dropped them by the second week of February.
Many don’t make it nearly that long. The day most people are likely to give up on their New Year’s Resolution is January 19. (It’s called “Quitter’s Day.”) https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/a-study-of-800-million-activities-predicts-most-new-years-resolutions-will-be-abandoned-on-january-19-how-you-cancreate-new-habits-that-actually-stick.html
How do we become some of those 20% who achieve a New Year’s Resolution? Should we?
An article from the Times Tribune had some great tips we’d like to share and then we’ll end with a system that Renee’s husband, David, has used for years.
First, we can start by remembering this quote from G.K. Chesterton and taping it to our bathroom mirrors or wherever you will see it everyday: “Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.”
Chesterton, a Christian philosopher, argued that most of what must be done to make the world go ’round is done by the average Joe who does not do it perfectly — or sometimes even well. None of us is perfect at marriage, parenting, work, friendship, or any number of other things we value. Some days, if we are honest, we will admit that we aren’t even good at whatever we’re doing. Does that mean we close up shop and quit?
Secondly, think small. (Story about 5 minute devotional time as young mom.) Once you are able to trust yourself in completing smaller challenges, bigger challenges like resolutions won’t seem so daunting.
Third, make your goals specific. For example, making “getting in shape” your New Year’s resolution can leave a lot open for interpretation. Instead, pick a specific goal you would like to achieve. Maybe it’s a certain amount of weight you would like to lose, a specific weight you would like to hit, a distance you’d like to be able to run without stopping, etc.
Fourth, make your New Year’s resolutions measurable. Being able to check progress throughout the process of a resolution will help increase the likelihood it will be kept. If your resolution is to “save $2,000 for a family vacation,” you could start by tracking expenditures your family has, making a budget, implementing that budget, and then by tracking that budget you are able to measure your family’s finances, thus making it easier to save for your vacation.
Fifth, write things down and keep track of progress to put things in perspective. For example, if your resolution was to “quit smoking,” you could keep tally of how many cigarettes you smoke daily. By tracking the progress, you will be able to see your progression or regression towards achieving your goal.
Sixth: make sure your New Year’s resolutions are achievable. Setting lofty goals for oneself is admirable, but the likelihood of those goals being achieved are lower than say realistic ones. Setting a goal or resolution that is impossible to achieve will just leave you feeling frustrated and ready to give up.
My husband, David, has been doing this for ___ years. It’s easy to do and it creates such intentionality. You can revisit this quarterly or just at the end of the year. It’s called the Priorities and Standings Plan: Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.
Seven categories: Faith, Family, Fellowship, Finances, Fun, Fitness, and Friends.
STEP ONE: Place the 7 items in the order that are the most important to you: TOP to BOTTOM.
(For instance, if the importance to you of FUN is higher than FITNESS, then it comes ahead of it. I normally do NOT tell people the order their items should be)
STEP TWO: Give yourself a CURRENT score (scale of 1-10) on where you assess yourself. Be honest…not where you WISH you were, but honest assessment of your current place.
STEP THREE: Give yourself a GOAL score – where you would like to be by the end of the year.
WARNING: If you place a GOAL score that is greater than a goal score for an item that is above it in order, you should re-assess your priorities.
(For instance, if you place a GOAL score for Fitness at 9 (assuming it is below Faith) and Faith at a 7…you should reassess your priorities and/or your goals for the year.
STEP FOUR: Under each item, identify 3-6 things that can specifically help you “move the needle” from where you are at to where you want to be.
Be specific. Numbers, activities, dollar amounts, trips, events. ALL these things will be action items YOU CAN CONTROL to help yourself accomplish the things you want to accomplish this year.
FAITH: My personal walk with Christ and my desire to live out His plan for me.
Examples of what this category might include are : Be in The Word everyday and listen to audio Bible to/from office Pray specifically everyday for others. Continue to write/journal as I study
FAMILY: My love, interaction, and leadership of my family as a whole and individually.
Continue to have couch-time at least 5 times a week. Intentionally date spouse every week (set a day and keep it). Have individual goals for each child & maybe ask them what they’d like to see more of from you.
FELLOWSHIP: My community and congregation involvement to further God’s Kingdom.
This is more of an outward, service-focused category. Maybe you’d like to teach a class, lead a small group, mentor someone younger than yourself? Is there a ministry at church you’d like to volunteer for? Could you be useful in the children’s ministry or youth group?
(leave white space on your calendar for time ! This is why I like the visual of the old-fashioned wall calendar. At a glance, I can tell if there are too many words in a given square.
FINANCES: My stewardship of God’s blessings on our family and how we use those gifts.
Follow a well-planned budget with spouse’s partnership. Increase giving at least X% each year to church
Increase savings to XX months of regular living expenses
FUN: My personal hobbies and activities in which I find fulfillment
For women (and busy moms), we often leave this one out, even if it’s very important to us. Don’t let the urgent be the master of the important. Carve some time for yourself to remember who you are and what you like to do. It will make you a more interesting person and you’ll feel better about yourself. Enlist your spouse to create this time with/for you (refer to the Are You the Default Parent podcast episode!)
Fitness: My overall health, diet, weight and exercise.
Start small. Can you run to the end of the block? Can you have only ONE glass of sweet tea or soda/week instead of 10+? Try something different nutritionally. Fast weekly from something. Get to a healthy and strong goal weight. Don’t forget Mental health falls into this category, too! Is it time to finally make that call to the counselor?
Friends: Those around me with whom I enjoy spending time.
Have a “date-night” with peers/friends once a month (eat out or at our home)