Middle school & life with tweens can feel like a mine-field sometimes, for the kids for sure, and also for parents trying to steer this ship that’s gone into uncharted waters.
I don’t know ONE person who’s come out on the other side and said they LOVED middle school and wished they could go back. It’s just hard. So many transitions—physically, emotionally, and socially.
One of the toughest can be navigating friendships, especially among girls.
Today we have a guest with us who’s weighing in on girls and friendships, how to gauge them, how to make them, and how to know when they’re real or not-so-real.
Welcome: JESSICA SPEER. She’s the award winning author of the interactive books, BFF OR NRF, A Girl’s Guide to Happy Friendships and Middle School—Safety Goggles Advised.
Introduce: 2 daughters, located in Colorado
Whenever I meet a middle school teacher or someone who works with middle schoolers, I feel like I should be handing out a medal…or maybe a self-care kit! It seems like a really tough crowd. What made you think to write books for this audience?
Why do you think friendship and social struggles are so common in preteen and teen years?
The title of your first book is BFF or NRF. How would you define friendship?
What makes a friend real or not-real?
You write about “9 hidden friendship truths.” Can you talk thru a few of those?
healthy friendships feel safe & accepting; everyone develops skills at a different pace; friendships have different phases and change over time; close friendships can be hard to find and may not happen until later; some girls with strong friendship qualities may not have the “most” friends. Sometimes girls with the most friends don’t make the best friends.; everyone makes mistakes; we teach others how we want to be treated by speaking up (using I power); when things get tough, it’s important to respond in a way that feels right to you; you choose which of your friendships to grow.
Let’s talk some about popularity. What did your research with pre teens and teens teach you about this? belonging vs. popularity… popularity is about status & power.
Why do friendships in these years seem so slippery and changeable? (Is it always like this? I still have several friends from middle school that I’m in touch with 40 yrs later!)
What do you say about conflict vs. bullying? Is there a good way to respond to these? Bullying is targeted & happens repeatedly.
Your books are interactive—full of quizzes and questions that girls can fill out like a private journal as they read thru. How do you find this is helpful?