This is the second of a three-part series on kids and food. In our last podcast we talked about how what women eat during pregnancy affects the taste of the amniotic fluid. How baby-led weaning, practice where babies 6 months old or older jump straight to finger foods as soon as solids are introduced, bypassing purées and mashed-up foods, is a trend in the UK and growing in popularity here.
We also began talking about Karen Le Billon’s book, French Kids Eat Everything, which chronicles her young family’s move to northern France where she discovered “food rules” that the French use to foster healthy eating habits and good manners in babies and children.
The first three rules were
- Food Rule #1: Parents, YOU are in charge of your children’s food education.
- French Food Rule #2: Avoid emotional eating. Food is NOT a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
- French Rule #3: Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
LeBillon describes a tense moment when she and her family attend a French dinner party. While the adults sit for their meal, the children are seated at “the kid’s table,” which is simply a smaller version of the adults’. They are served the same foods and also engage in conversation. Karen worries that her children will turn up their noses at what they’re offered, but her husband urges her to “let them alone.” Sure enough, guided by the older children at the table and distracted by conversation, they eat what’s before them without protest!
American approach to food vs French approach to food
Food Rule #4: Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table with no distractions. (75)
A happy by-product of this approach is that kids eat with adult supervision and the learning curve is faster.
Food Rule #5: Eat Vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Never eat the same main dish more than once a week.
Story of her going from too permissive to authoritarian. “Madame had said at school that rules are not about suppressing individual preferences but rather about fostering individual taste. Just as kids need a well-rounded education, they also need a well-rounded palate.” You don’t achieve that by forcing them to eat large servings of foods kids currently dislike.
Her anxiety really affected the kids. When she followed the French culture, she saw “French families encouraged their children to eat well, but they did this largely without direct conflict. Rather, parents created good routines early on, and the kids absorbed good eating habits by osmosis, by seeing and copying other kids and adults around them.” (p. 104)
Two American researchers designed a novel experiment to measure the flexibility and adaptability of food tastes in young children. 120 kids between ages 3-5 were divided into three groups. On the first day, all three groups were served kohlrabi. Not one could identify it. The next day, each group heard a story before snack time. Group A heard a story about a young boy discovering he liked vegetables, EXCEPT kohlrabi. The book’s refrain stated “at least I didn’t have to eat kohlrabi.” Group B heard a similar story, with the refrain changed to “almost as good as kohlrabi,” and Group C had no reference to food. Afterward, two-thirds of Group B could identify kohlrabi. All the groups were then again invited to taste it. The only children who refused were those in Group A. More than two-thirds of those who tasted it, said they liked it. Kids’ food tastes are way more adaptable than we believe. (pg. 107-8)
Scientific word for fear of new foods: neophobia. It usually appears at the age of two, but scientists disagree about why it arises. It may be a protective behavior: young children who are afraid of eating new things are less likely to poison themselves. Or it may have an evolutionary basis: in nature, the foods that are sweet, fat, or slaty tend to have the highest nutritional value and are the least likely to be poisonous. Or it may be primarily psychological, appearing as kids enter a developmental phase of opposition to their parents. And some experts believe it’s related to kids developing taste buds, which lead them to reject bitter tastes, often found in veggies, and favor sweet, fat, and salty tastes.
French pediatricians warn families about neophobia, telling them that children’s appetite diminishes and become more fickle somewhere between the ages of two and four. This is in part physical (slowing down of growth rate) and psychological (the “no” phase). Because of this, they capitalize on the first two years of life, in preparation for this expected result. One in four children will not experience neophobia at all… this means 75% do!
Although there is a genetic, biological component to food dislikes, there is also an important cultural component: Kids LEARN what to like or dislike. Also, this is a developmental PHASE, not a lifelong condition, but it can develop into a personality trait if handled poorly. From a French parenting book: “Opposition to food can’t persist if there is no opponent. In the face of a child’s refusal to eat, the best parental response is serene indifference. Parents should remind themselves that this will pass. Your child will not continue refusing to eat if I simply refuse to react.
French parents believe that there are truly few foods which tast bad. They believe that kids are inherently curious about food. They believe that MOST foods are an acquired taste. So, naturally, educating toddlers to enjoy a variety of foods is inevitable and important. French researchers found that just like infants are drawn to the new toy in the room, they are drawn to a new food.
Food Rule #6a: For picky eaters, you don’t have to like it but you do have to taste it.
The trick is to get the kids to take the initiative rather than force the issue. Offer it and don’t get into a power struggle, go on with your conversation after initial encouragement. If the child doesn’t like it? You say, “That’s okay. You’ll try again later.” If the child likes it, you say, “Great! Try this too!”
The French don’t fuss. They don’t hover. No one is anxious. Parents are cheerful but matter-of-fact. And if the child refuses to eat, they take the food away without much comment and without providing substitutes. Because of the no snacking rule, they know that their child will be hungrier at the next meal, which will work to their advantage.
Food never becomes a power struggle; it’s just part of a routine with novelty and socializing. French parents assert authority over scheduling and feeding when their children are very young. Compared to Karen’s exhausting and sleep-depriving feeding on demand “schedule” for her child, her French friends were rested and their 8-month old guzzled his meals, contentedly napped for hours, and slept soundly through the night.
Food Rule #6b: For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
“In North America – a culture that prizes individual choice – kids don’t have to eat what they don’t like. But parents worry desperately that they are not eating well. This sets up a vicious cycle: we feel anxious about food and, sensing this, our children often eat less well.” p 114
Less concerned about nutritional content than Americans, French parents are concerned about introducing a variety of taste, texture, and color. They steer away from processed or premade foods and give them homemade foods instead. This will become the kids’ comfort foods.
The French recommendation is that kids eat 5 portions (2 1/2 cups) of fruits and vegetables per day. Just under half (42%) of French children achieve this, and many of the rest are pretty close. In contrast, only about 10% of American kids and adolescents (20% of toddlers) consume the recommended 2 1/2 cups. The most popular “fruit” in North America is actually fruit JUICE (lots of sugar) and the most common “vegetable” is the french fry, which doesn’t qualify as a vegetable for the French.
Remember, you’re training appetites – a psychological state that primes you to eat and be satisfied by certain foods. It’s not just the measurement of an empty stomach, it is a state of mind.
French cookbooks for babies are divided into 4-5 months, 6-9 months, 9-12 months, 12-18 months, 18-36 months. Each phase has new types of foods, with the goal of children eating pretty much everything adults do by the age of 3. They are offered grains or cereals at every meal, but they are a small part of their diet. By the time they are two years old, French children have tried and eaten more foods than most American adults. Assess this over weeks, not daily, to get a better feel of what they’re characterized by.
When your kid refuses a food or wants to eat a snack when you’re not ready for them to eat, here are some things you can say:
You don’t like it? That’s because you haven’t tasted it enough times yet. Maybe next time!
You don’t like it? That’s ok. You’ll like it when you’re more grown up.
You’re hungry? That’s fine. You’ll really appreciate your next meal. We’re having something really yummy!
Third episode we’ll cover the final four food rules.