This is episode #4 in our series called Cultivate. We are always saying that it’s so much better to elevate what you are looking for in your children (the virtues!) rather than squashing what you don’t want (the vices!). So we’ve been talking about how you can cultivate character in your kids through the years.
This week, it’s the week after Christmas, and we’re talking about joy!
Christmas is typically the time of year joy gets mentioned a lot. We’re singing “Joy to the World”, kids may be opening presents, we’re relishing the precious moments with family. It’s a celebration!
Then, the week after Christmas comes and the dreary gray days of the rest of winter. Where did our joy go?
Let’s take a look at what JOY actually IS.
While happiness is a feeling (when things are going well, you’re delighted by your spouse, you have a pleasant dinner with friends…), JOY is a deeper sense of purpose and hope. Even though things are gray and dreary, your spouse was grumpy with you, or what you ordered at dinner out with friends wasn’t that great, you still resonate with deep appreciation, gratitude, and being present in the moment.
One definition of Christian joy that I found is “a good feeling in the soul, produced by the Holy Spirit, as he causes us to see the beauty of Christ in the word and in the world.”
In that sense, as believers, we have that sense of purpose and hope all the time, even through suffering or trying circumstances. Our will to delight in the Lord can’t be taken away.
John Piper: My soul imparts virtue, right or wrong, to the physical parts of my life. And the Bible clearly says it is right to feel joy in God. Or, it is wrong to be anxious about the situation. There is a rightness and a wrongness to these emotions, and these emotions precede the bodily movements that follow. The feelings are movements of the soul.
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/how-do-you-define-joy
- Psalm 32:11. Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, …. shout for joy, all you upright in heart!
- Philippians 4:4. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.
- Romans 12:12. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Joy, to me is more of a verb. REJOICE. It’s a remembering Who and what we’re rooted in.
Joy is prayer. Joy is strength. Joy is love. Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. – Mother Teresa
Joy is not necessarily the absence of suffering, it is the presence of God. – Sam Storms
Joy can only be real if people look upon their life as a service and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness. – Leo Tolstoy
We all know people who are particularly joyful. You can probably bring someone to mind right now. And it’s not that they’ve never experienced hurt or disappointment—they may even be carrying a tough diagnosis or a heavy loss. Of course they cry and can be sad or frustrated, yet there’s something about them. They light up a room. Can you think of someone?
Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit, so it’s something we all should be growing, producing. And we should be teaching our children to practice joy as well.
Some of us tend to be more melancholic than others—through temperament, genetics, or habit. The same is true of our kids, so for some children, striving for joy may be tougher than for others.
How Do We Practice Joy?
- Know who you are. You are more than ordinary. …
- Recognize God’s hand in your life, even during challenging moments. …
- Remember That Joy Multiplies. … That person we thought of earlier? They’re contagious.
- Obedience… we can experience God’s pleasure rising in us. If you find yourself stuck in despair, obey…go love someone.
- Live life with integrity… it’s almost impossible to experience deep joy when you’re torn in two, trying to be someone different than who you were made to be. When you surrender to the task/talent/call you’ve been given, joy is a guaranteed byproduct.
- Engage in the moment. Put down the list, silence the phone and the TV. When another person walks in your presence, give them your full honoring attention. That moment won’t come again. (There’s a great song by Patty Griffin called Long Ride Home that’ll get you in the heart about moments missed.)
- Express gratitude regularly. Get into the habit of doing this with your children, especially when things are difficult. If you’re standing in the pouring rain, be grateful you have two legs to stand on. Many times this ends up being humorous as you’re reaching to find something good, which puts everyone in a better mood anyway! (the old “it could be worse” exercise)
- Do satisfying work. If that’s not your day job, that’s ok.
- Silence your inner critic! Take those thoughts captive and send them packing.
- Enjoy the simple things (goes back to gratitude). Best things ever: warm summer peach, soft clean sheets when you’re bone tired, hug from your grown kid coming home, baby’s belly laugh, sun on your face.
- Find something to marvel at. Look for awesome. This is generally accomplished (for me) by going outside, but for you it might be in reading about something amazing, or by watching those Blue Planet shows together. Anything narrated by David Attenborough is likely to make you marvel at the universe. Kids are great at this and are excellent teachers for us. What’s more marvelous than bubbles? What’s more awesome than splashing in a rain puddle? I think animals are put here to remind us a lot of joy. (Horses, chickens, bees, dog, cat)
- Take a cue from your kids and look for moments of FUN or silliness. (This comes really hard for some people). Dance in the kitchen. Have silly string wars in the backyard.
(Brings to mind a couple of years ago when I bought the inflatable TRex & had several adventures with it.)
Three Dog Night: Joy to the World
Singin’ joy to the world
All the boys and girls now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me
I was recently pondering this verse on joy from Isaiah 55;12:
You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
John Piper has a terrific sermon that explains this verse. It’s worth closing with a sampling from it:
First of all let’s take the “you” in verse 12. “For you shall go out in joy, and be led forth in peace.” Who is this “you”? It’s the same people that have been spoken to all along. In verse 6 it’s the person who seeks the Lord while he may be found and calls upon him while he is near. In verse 7 it’s the wicked person who forsakes his way and the unrighteous person who forsakes his thoughts—the people who return to the Lord for mercy and pardon.
In verse 1 it’s the people who come to the water because they are thirsty. And even though they have no money, they “buy” wine and milk without money and without price.
In other words, the “you” of verse 12 is a person who feels need in his soul, hears the voice of God offering refreshment and nourishment and exhilaration, seeks the Lord while he may be found, calls upon him while he is near, drinks from the fountain of life, receives mercy and pardon for all sins, and trusts in the triumphant promises of God described in verse 11—”my word . . . shall accomplish that which I purpose and prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”
…Now what sort of future is it? What kind of future is God planning for you?
You Will Be Happy
First, he is planning that you will be happy. Verse 12: “You shall go out in joy.” We have some happiness now, with our sins forgiven, and a purpose to live for, and the hope of perfection. But there is very much grief and sorrow mixed into our joy in this age with all its sin and pain.
That’s why the word “go out” is important. “You shall go out in joy.” There is a lot in this world we want to GO OUT of. And God knows that. In fact he is planning that. And his plan is that we will go out IN JOY. When this age is over, the age of perfect happiness begins. God is planning that you will be happy forever.
You Will Have Peace
Second, God is planning for you to have peace. Verse 12: “You shall go out in joy, and be led forth in peace.” The hope of joy implies that all the inner turmoil will be taken away. The hope of peace implies that all the outer turmoil will be overcome and banished.
That’s why the phrase “be led forth” is important: “You shall be led forth in peace.” It implies that we have a leader and commander (v. 4) who will lead us and help us. One we can trust. One who will be victorious and bring the peace we long for. Swords to plowshares! Study war no more!
So God is planning that (inside) you will be happy forever, and he is planning that (outside) there will be peace forever. No more terrorism or war or abortion or rape or arson or fraud or slander or any discord at all.
Nature Will Be Entirely For You
There are some things in the world that we want to “go out” of—things we want to “be led forth” from. But not everything. Not the Rocky Mountains of Colorado or the Blue Ridge Hills of North Carolina; not the trees of the field, the cypress and myrtle and oak and maple and divine and ash and willow and elm and dogwood and palm and redwood and spruce and poplar and holly and hickory.
These we don’t want to lose. And God makes clear in these verses that we will not lose them in the age to come. In fact what he says is not only that they will be there, but they will be there to celebrate your coming. Verse 12b:
The mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle.
In other words in the new world where the curse is overcome, nature will not only stop being against you (thorns, briers, drought, floods, earthquakes), nature will be entirely for you. That’s surely what it means that trees are clapping and mountains and hills are singing before you as you come. All creation will celebrate the revealing of the children of God. (See Romans 8:19, 21.)
So God is planning for you to be happy forever. He is planning for you to live in peace forever. And he is planning that good and beautiful things in his creation be preserved for your exhilaration forever and ever.