This is the third and final segment of a three-part series on kids and food. In our first podcast we talked about how what women eat during pregnancy affects the taste of the amniotic fluid. How baby-led weaning, a practice where babies 6 months old or older jump straight to finger foods as soon as solids are introduced is a trend in the UK and growing in popularity here. And last time we learned about neophobia among other things: This is when children’s appetites diminish and become more fickle somewhere between the ages of two and four. One in four children will not experience neophobia at all… this means 75% do!
And we’ve been walking through Karen Le Billon’s book, French Kids Eat Everything, which chronicles her young family’s move to northern France where she discovered “food rules” that the French use to foster healthy eating habits and good manners in babies and children.
The first Six rules were
- Food Rule #1: Parents, YOU are in charge of your children’s food education.
- French Food Rule #2: Avoid emotional eating. Food is NOT a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
- French Rule #3: Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
- Food Rule #4: Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table with no distractions. (75)
- Food Rule #5: Eat Vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Never eat the same main dish more than once a week.
- Food Rule #6a: For picky eaters, you don’t have to like it but you do have to taste it. (111)
- Food Rule #6b: For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
“In North America – a culture that prizes individual choice – kids don’t have to eat what they don’t like. But parents worry desperately that they are not eating well. This sets up a vicious cycle: we feel anxious about food and, sensing this, our children often eat less well.” p 114
Less concerned about nutritional content than Americans, French parents are concerned about introducing a variety of taste, texture, and color. Remember, you’re training appetites – a psychological state that primes you to eat and be satisfied by certain foods. It’s not just the measurement of an empty stomach, it is a state of mind.
So… on to the final four rules!
French Food Rule #7: Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum) and not within one hour of meals.
Traditional French nursery rhyme: I’m hungry! Then eat your fist. If you’re still hungry, you can eat your wrist. Then if you still want to eat, You can nibble one of your feet, and keep the other for tomorrow’s treat!
North American kids eat, on average, 3 snacks per day. French children don’t snack. They eat four meals a day: breakfast, lunch, gouter (pronounced “Goo tare”) (4:30pm), and dinner. Snack food ads on French TV carry a large white banner (like the warnings on cigarette packaging!) bluntly stating: “For your health, avoid snacking in between meals.” She writes that 98% of American adults snack everyday and nearly half of American adults snack 3 times per day. But the French don’t view this as deprivation. They view it as ANTICIPATION.
In the 1970’s, most kids ate one snack per day and 25% didn’t eat a snack at all. While 20% of American kids are obese and only 3% of French children are obese.
She decided to keep a food diary to see how much her kids were really snacking. The quality of their snacks wasn’t the best (mostly white bread and sweets), and they were filling up on snacks. After school snack, bedtime snack, and a midmorning snack on weekends. By volume, they were eating more at snacktime than at dinner. Maybe this was why they were picking at most of the vegetable dishes?
She had to learn that in between meals, it’s okay to feel hungry. At meals, you eat until you’re satisfied rather than full. The French have a proverb that describes this: A good meal starts with hunger. And the French diet has a higher proportion of “high satiety” foods than our diets in America. These are foods that make us feel more full than others: whole grains, beans, lentils, oats, lean meats, fish, leafy greens, and high water/fiber content vegetables and fruits.
To help her follow this rule, she wrote a list of benefits (no more negotiating, no emotional eating, less mental stress, time saved, money saved, better nutrition, and less temptation for HER to snack). And she knew this was working when she overheard her girls talking late one afternoon. “I’m hungry,” whined Claire. “Me too,” echoed Sophie. “But don’t worry!” she continued brightly. “That means you’ll really appreciate your dinner. It’s in two hours. Let’s go check what’s on the menu.” And they did just that. 🙂
French Food Rule #8: Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
The most important goal for the French when they’re seated around the dinner table is pleasure. This is very different from North American goals for eating which can include fueling yourself, nutrition, personal health, or weight loss. One of Le Billon’s French friends explained it this way, “We hurry up our lives in order to slow down at mealtimes. Slowing down means that you eat less and enjoy your food more.
Two researchers: one French and one American weighed servings of identical meals at McDonald’s in Paris and Philadelphia. The medium fries in Philly was 72% bigger than the McDonald’s in Paris AND the time taken to eat a meal in each city? 22 minutes in Paris vs 14 minutes in Philadelphia.
Eating slowly helps children and adults be more sensitive to their feeling of hunger and fullness. This is based on a sense of balance which is, in turn, associated with the principle of moderation: pleasure through self-restraint, based on an appreciation of quality rather than quantity. Her mother-in-law put it this way, “A little portion is all I need. Otherwise, I won’t enjoy it as much.” p. 163
“Cooking can be an act of love and delight, or it can be yet another exercise in racing through life on automatic pilot–never stopping for a moment to notice, feel, or taste. Cooking performed as an act of love brings us renewed energy and vigor… Cooking is like an embrace.”
French Food Rule #9: Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save “treats” for special occasions. (Hint: a treat is anything processed.)
This was not an actual French “rule” but she decided this rule was the key to feeding kids well in North America. The French eat “real food” (unprocessed) by default. The French have a concept called terroir, which is the close relationship between people, their land and climate, and their food. Terroir might mean eating oysters and drinking apple cider in Brittany, eating Roquefort and drinking rosé in southern France… you get the idea.
The essence of this idea is to find a balance between the foods available where you are living, your terroir, your cooking skills, and a schedule that lends itself to mindful cooking and eating.
French Food Rule #10: The most important rule of all! The Golden Rule: Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habit or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
Remember, the goal of these food rules is to create good routines and habits. It’s not to police your children’s eating. The goal is for them to internalize these routines and habits so that they enjoy food in a pleasurable, balanced way for life!
A simple way to check whether you’re on the right track or not is to ask yourself whether what you’re doing will create long-term anxiety for your children. French parents believe that healthy eating habits can be achieved without anxiety. Food is a source of pleasure rather than worry. This comes as a surprise to many Americans. We believe eating can make you sick or make you healthy but we don’t much think about eating bringing you joy.
We worry more and eat less. The French worry less and eat much better.
Food is a gift from God. We use it to celebrate, to mourn, to entertain, to fuel, to love, to show hospitality, and to care for people in tangible ways.
The writer of Ecclesiastes puts it this way:
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.
And the apostle Paul sums up Le Billon’s food rules this way:
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. – 1 Corinthians 10:31
When you bring God into your healthy eating, it changes everything. Striving to honor Him in your food and drink choices will bring not only a heart change, but it will also change your choices.