We’re smack in the middle of summer and all that time still stretches ahead….. what do you DO with it??
A word about boredom…
When we were kids… we stayed at home and ran around the neighborhood looking for stuff to do. We only came home when our stomachs were achingly empty or when the dimming light let us know that it was time for supper.
Summers aren’t like this anymore.
Kids today are being flooded with a myriad of possible activities. They are attending film camps, church camps, drama camps, and grandparent camps. They are heading to friends’ houses and reconnecting with extended family. There are family reunions, camping trips, or summer vacations. While all of these things are good, there are times when parents are tired and should consider spending a few days at home “being bored.”
Try this: Be the most boring thing in the room. It takes about 20 min of complaining before they start creating. Do not feel you must be your kids’ 24/7 entertainment center.
Get a phrase in your head and use it so your kids will know what they’ll hear when they utter the dreaded phrase: It’s ok to be bored. I know you’ll think of something. I always have chores for bored children.
In a November 2017 article for The Gospel Coalition entitled, Netflix Thinks You’re Bored and Lonely, Trevin Wax noted:
A child’s boredom is a problem for CHILD to solve, not adults.
Reed Hastings, the CEO of Netflix, offered a purpose statement for his entertainment juggernaut: “Fundamentally, we’re about eliminating loneliness and boredom. . . . That’s what entertainment does.”
Eliminating boredom and loneliness. Chew on that for a while, and you’ll realize that only one of these issues is truly a problem, while the other is actually an opportunity.
Is boredom always a problem, or could it be a possibility? Talk to people whose job it is to make things with their hands or create things in their head, and they’ll tell you that great things happen when your mind runs free.
For most people, eliminating boredom means choosing activities that demand little to nothing of you. But there are better, more rewarding ways to respond to boredom. You can pick activities that stretch your mind and heart. Or, you can simply look around and become interested.
G. K. Chesterton said there is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject, only an uninterested person. Boredom, in this light, can be thrilling:
I can recall in my childhood the continuous excitement of long days in which nothing happened; and an indescribable sense of fullness in large and empty rooms. And with whatever I retain of childishness (and whether it be a weakness or otherwise, I think I retain more than most) I still feel a very strong and positive pleasure in being stranded in queer quiet places… we need such places, and sufficient solitude in them, to let certain nameless suggestions soak into us and make a richer soil of the subconsciousness. The imagination can not only enjoy darkness; it can even enjoy dullness.
Boredom provides the path for imagination to tread upon. It also provides the path for self-discipline. Without boredom, how do we teach children how to behave in a restaurant, how to sing and pray and listen in church, or how to politely carry on a conversation that isn’t immediately interesting?
Here are 4 Ways to Give Your Kids the Blessing of Boredom:
1. Stay Home Sometimes
Believe it or not, sometimes staying home actually needs to be scheduled onto our calendars.
2. Turn off Electronic Devices
Kids LOVE their electronic devices. While having some time on the screens isn’t bad, it’s easy for this to get out of control on long, summer days. We (Renee) had the 10,000 step rule for electronics or videos in the summer. No phones, video games etc until they had logged 10,000 steps.
3. Push the kids outside for a few hours
There’s nothing like facing a few hours outside with “nothing” to do to activate our kids’ imaginations. This time is more likely to be successful if you provide the kids with some tools especially if unstructured time outside is new to your kids. Nerf swords, slip and slides, bikes, basketballs, etc are all fairly inexpensive and will give kids something to do while they are thinking After your kids get used to this time outside, they’ll be able to use dirt, sticks, and even bugs to come up with their own entertainment.
4. Don’t tell your kids what to do
The key to boredom being a blessing is that your kids need to figure out what to do on their own. Telling them what to do defeats the purpose. We want this to be a time when their brains will light up and they will come fully alive. Initially, it can take some time for them to come up with stuff to do on their own. As they get used to it, however, they will be able to think of stuff quickly and entertaining themselves will become second nature.
Know Your Children
Introverted kid vs. Extroverted kid: Introverted kids tend to like their own company more easily and can have rich inner lives. This is where they are energized. Extroverted kids tend to like interactions with others and get energized this way. Bring both types of kids up to the same standard of entertaining themselves. Some will get this more easily than others.
Go OUTSIDE
Jamie Langley, a child & family play therapist recommends trading green time for screen time. [For her excellent tips on things to do outside, listen to our podcast Go Outside & Play, May 17, 2021.]
- Pool (swim lessons)
- Sand box
- Park
- Water/sand table
- Chalk, bubbles
- Plant something—grow something
- “car wash” or house wash (sponges, soap, hose)
- ENO
- –Friends over: ultimate Frisbee, spikeball, pool games, etc.
Go SOMEWHERE
- Camps?
- Creek—Greenway, etc.; float boats
- Library (reading times, or bookstores)
- VBS
- Camping
- State parks—hikes, lakes (pull off a tick, mosquito bites, lightning bugs)
- Farmer’s markets (try something you haven’t before) …lion’s mane
- Beach
- Home Depot workshops (build a birdhouse, etc.)
- Go to aquarium
- Pick blueberries, strawberries, etc. then make things with them in the kitchen
- Zoo
LEARN SOMETHING
- New activity to try? (summer rec center: baton, horses, etc.)
- NEW SKILL: bicycle, skateboard, swim, dive, climb a wall
- Set up ninja course & master the route
- Read books (reading plans they choose, library visits etc)
MAKE SOMETHING
- Snacks
- Popsicles
- Ice cream nights/ s’mores nights
- Big cardboard boxes & let them each have one: cubby, fort, car, etc.
- Sewing projects
- Photo contest…
PACE YOURSELF: In June we start out gung ho: Let’s go the the water park! Arts & Crafts! Reading Time! By July, Netflix is saying “Look at me. I’m the captain now.”
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It helps to have some sort of flexible daily check-off for each member of the family.
DAILY STRUCTURE
If it helps you to have somewhat of a routine/structure, then each day do something in each area:
- Your space: (bed laundry)
- Self (dress, teeth)
- Others: (family contribution, service/kindness)
- Read for an hour
- Spiritual (read, pray, journal)
- Physical (outside, workout, move)
- Intellectual (new skill, new word, etc.)
- Free time
TEENS
With a lot of the usual “summer activities,” tweens, teens, or young adults home for the summer may roll their eyes at how LAME all that is. Fair enough. Older kids can still be creative and get outside. They still need exercise. Talk a walk after dinner or walk the dog. A lot of times this opens an unexpected window to chat. When your teens hand & feet move, a lot of times their mouth moves, too!
Ask questions to manage expectations
- Whats your IDEAL summer day look like?
- How about the average/realistic one?
- What do you think mom/dad’s expectations are? Are they fair?
- How much family time is reasonable?
Be prepared for each party to adjust expectations….compromise.
If your kids have a hard time knowing what to do if screens aren’t an option, have a list to pick from.
Negotiate screen time hours. They may make a more strict guideline than you.
Household chore expectations. Children will resist doing chores. Part of the explanation rests with the very nature of children. Center for Parenting Education notes:
Young children and teens are
- lacking in judgment. Most young children have no idea how much work is involved with the running of a household.
impulsive. They want what they want when they want it. Working at activities that are not immediately gratifying to them is not inherently on their agenda.
self-absorbed and concerned mainly about themselves and their own needs. They do not naturally consider the needs and expectations of others.
Doing chores willingly requires:
- mature judgment,
- less impulsivity,
- and more awareness of others’ perspectives and needs.
Children are not born with these traits; they develop gradually as children grow and mature.
Part of your job as parents is to socialize your children during the 18 or 20 years that they live with you by helping them to develop these mature qualities. Therefore, it should not be a surprise, and perhaps you should accept and expect, that they resist helping at home.
Ideas for TEENS for summer
- Jobs
- Volunteering
- Personal goal (physical fitness, academic etc)
- Take a college course
- Time away from home with relative or family friend
- Fun stuff THEY have a part in choosing.
“The crickets felt it was their duty to warn everybody that summertime cannot last forever. Even on the most beautiful days in the whole year–the days when summer is changing into autumn–the crickets spread the rumour of sadness and change.” –E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web
So make the most of your summer!