It’s something we both dread and hope for—high school graduation and launching our kids into the world. Junior/senior years of HS are the most fun, busy, and stressful times in a teen’s life. How do you navigate that?
College won’t be every student’s path. There’s the military, trade school, apprenticeships, & gap years. You don’t have to go to college to make a good living. Every kid is different and they don’t have to fit YOUR idea of success.
While a traditional 4-yr degree has been a touted road to success, that’s not necessarily the case anymore. There’s a real question of the ROI of a university degree, especially with the distance-learning advent of the past 15 months.
Pitfalls of the College Experience
- Some kids abandon their faith
- Lifeway study published in January 2019 showed that 66% of kids who attended church during high school for at least one year stopped going to church during college.
- Those who stayed in church during college saw the church as an important part of their entire life. When asked why they stayed in church, more than half say the church was a vital part of their relationship with God (56 percent) and that they wanted the church to help guide their decisions in everyday life (54 percent).
- Some live frivolously, abusing their freedoms in recreation and pleasure
- Some learn to privatize their faith and have an education-faith disconnect
- Some thrive
When we were headed to school, there were few AP classes even offered, and we weren’t likely to scour the country touring every university out there. We scored a roommate, drove X number of hours away & waved goodbye to mom & dad with a bedspread and a pillow–and no cellphone.
NOW, we’ve each launched two kids each, and today’s experience is vastly different.
AP & DE OPTIONS As soon as they enter HS, there’s an array of honors, AP, and DE (dual-enrollment) classes offered. Average senior may have 12-30 college credit hours & can conceivably graduate HS and simultaneously earn an AA college degree. Can also get CLEP credit by testing out of subjects if you demonstrate proficiency (foreign language, e.g.,)
- ++Closes the affordability gap, saving $$$ and lowering debt. More students are likely to continue on & earn a degree if they’ve gotten a head start like this.
- Once you’re enrolled, you get less concentration on core subjects like English (Bob’s freshman English experience), getting your “gen ed” out of the way, but less education.
- Limited offerings of DE/AP
- Some majors @ some universities require courses at their campus so all that effort may not “count”
- Reduces time spent on campus (forming relationships, expanding your thinking, encountering diversity, learning independence)
- Taking lots of difficult/time-consuming classes while balancing sports, job, church, extra-curriculars, etc. Stressful time!
- Talk to guidance counselor or advisor/admissions from college for discernment
Once they get their HS schedule nailed down, add college search/applications to the junior/senior year.
They’ll be taking the SAT/ACT (maybe multiple times since schools take the best score and/or can “superscore” test results). Many schools now have been test-optional b/c of COVID. Can be a good thing—as it gives those who may not test well opportunities to highlight themselves in other ways for admission. These tests are grueling. HOURS spent on a Saturday with so much riding on the result. Be kind. Be positive.
Preparing for College
When considering sending your senior student out into the world, it’s not all about test scores and financial aid. As faithful parents, we want our young adults to be critical thinkers, able to weather the assault on faith they no doubt will face. If you’ve waited until senior year to address doubt or dive deep into faith questions, last-ditch efforts may not amount to much.
Do consider: relationships matter. Encourage your student to keep in touch with those who love him. Ask close friends and family (pastors, ministers, other adults) to reach out to your student occasionally to keep communication open. Hopefully, the teen years have held many conversations about the importance of choosing friends wisely. A good (small) group of like-minded friends can be invaluable for accountability and spiritual growth. Relationships with key professors matter, too. Some of the most invested people were the professors in the biology department at my student’s university. One of them ended up performing my daughter’s wedding ceremony.
Find a local church and plug in. It’s a great place to meet people and feed your student’s spirit. So much of college life feeds their social and intellectual needs, but their spiritual muscles remain unflexed. Churches in university towns usually have classes or ministries geared specifically to college students. They’ll often offer free meals, small group activities, retreats and other activities. Many adults in these congregations can serve as mentors or “adoptive” parents for when mom/dad are miles away. Even large state schools often have outstanding campus ministry organizations on campus–which is a plus if your student doesn’t happen to have a car.
In the summer of their junior year (or before), check into programs like Impact 360 and Summit–outstanding worldview programs for young adults. These are available for college credit as well.
The college search:
Where should my student attend? To narrow that down, take a look at a few categories and discuss them with your junior/senior:
Size (campus, class ratios, undergrad v grad heavy, sports teams)
Location (certain radius from home, certain city)
Public/private (culture & cost)
Demographic of students
Programs of study (acceptance rates for professional schools/grad school)
Scholarships available
TOUR—
- Pick a week day so you can people-watch
- Talk to a prof in your dept. and/or sit in on a class
- Eat in the cafeteria
- Look @ student bulletin boards, publications (studentsreview.com)
- Usually includes a housing tour & presentation by admissions/financial aid
- Virtualcollegefairs.org (4/10, 4/20, 5/2)
CONSIDER: are they determined to be governor someday or do they want to major in elementary education? (Yale vs. state school). Is graduate school a given? Maybe don’t go Ivy league for undergrad then.
APPLY
- Common app or individual colleges (fees apply!! DEADLINES ARE DIFFT)—Revise & polish essay
- Add’l essays for honors programs, scholarships
- Competitive wknds for scholarships with interviews
- Time with coaches/athletic programs
- Talk over early-decision possibilities
Word about financial aid/cost:
- Guidance counselors will help you, but you’ll have to fill out a FAFSA to qualify for state scholarships & grants
- Community scholarships, BSA, trap, college debts even after freshman year, others avail thru online search—so many not applied for!
- Work-study programs
- “Western Undergraduate Exchange” –for certain majors can qualify for in-state tuition (marine biology in CO…)
THEN. After everything: CHANGE IS POSSIBLE. Fully 1/3 of all students transfer schools during undergrad!! So if you get there & hate it, you’re not doomed and you’re certainly not a failure.
Alex Chediak, author of Thriving at College, notes that ⅓ of men aged 22-34 are failing to launch after college and are living at home. Last year (publish date 2011) four out of five grads moved back in with mom and dad. Seven in 10 didn’t have a job lined up when they graduated, having spent $100,000 and 20% of their lives there. He says, “College is about finding your place in God’s world–not fitting God into your plans, but finding your place in His–so that you can be a blessing to others.”
In the words of William Carey, we want our kids to “Expect great things from God and attempt great things for God” during college.