- Kids are supposed to act like kids: There’s a difference between childishness and foolishness. Childishness is when you 2-year-old acts like, well, a 2-year-old. Foolishness is when they know better and go full steam ahead anyway with a bad decision. Try not to be embarrassed or stressed when your kids act like kids. That’s the gig.
- It’s okay, not every decision is DEFCON level 5: Motherhood is characterized a million decisions a day, it seems. And we’re all looking to one another to see what choices each family made. There are as many different family personalities as there are families. Know yours and know yourself. Want to breastfeed? Great! Want to bottle-feed? That’s great, too! Need to go back to work? Go for it! Need to stay home? Yes!
- You’re not alone: Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt like you’re the only one. You’re not. Motherhood is rewarding and joyous and isolating and tedious and makes you question all your pre-conceived notions. There is nothing new under the sun. Someone else has had your same feelings and doubts. Don’t tell yourself the lie that you are unique in your shortcomings and trials.
- Being different from your kids is okay: Your family tree may produce apples AND oranges. Rarely are parents the same personality type with the same interests as their kids. Let this delight you instead of frustrate or worry you. After all, do you want to be exactly like your own parents???
- You’re loved: Even though your kid says you’re the meanest mom in the world. Even though they claim that they’d rather live with Grandma. Even though they say you don’t understand them. They love you. You’re a safe place for them to vent and release their frustrations, sometimes that hurts.
- You’re doing great: You’re showing up. You’re invested. You’re doing your best today and getting up tomorrow and trying hard all over again. And the day after that. And the day after that. We all have room for improvement, but the magical unicorn of perfect parenting does not exist.
- Your child is a delight: Parents, coaches, teachers, friends, grandparents, aunts and uncles, bear this is mind. When a mom hears unsolicited praise about their kids from someone else, it’s the best thing ever. Sometimes moms see the worst behavior. We’re the safe place, after all. Having someone else praise our kids is like a cup of cold water on a hot day.
- You’re irreplaceable: To your kids, you’re a given. You’re the beating heart that’s always there. Yes, someone else could change their diaper or teach them to tie their shoes, but don’t imagine they could do without you. You’re the glue of their existence.
- It’s worth it: All the emotional, physical, and financial sacrifices are worth it. So you can’t jump on a trampoline anymore without peeing a little. Maybe the last time you bought pajamas was 2003, and each day with your teen gives you more gray hair. This is the greatest work you’ll ever do. Don’t give up.
- You’re still cool: Go hang out with people your own age who “remember you when.” Even though you may be bordering on obsolescence in the eyes of your teens, you’ve still got moves! This will be confirmed when they call with questions about taxes or childbirth or changing the air filters–all boring adult things you’re now doing instead of attending an Ed Sheeran concert. Keep learning new things and be open to their future. Try Tik Tok. You’re still cool.
