Today we are asking the question: What do we, as moms, want to be when our kids grow up. Whether you have one child or a dozen, the time will eventually come when your proverbial nest is empty. Why does this “predictable event in the family life cycle”, as some family therapists put it, ambush us?
Certainly a profoundly shaken sense of identity comes back again and again as you speak to empty-nesters. It is the end of what you’ve put all your energies into, and you have time to reflect on what you got right and wrong. And you have to face up to: ‘Well, who am I? What am I? What am I for?’”
You were a parent your whole life, you had this job and this focus. It’s a huge part of your life, but many of us find ourselves asking What do I do now?
Today we are talking with Karen Johnson, a.k.a. The 21st Century SAHM, to discuss her new book, What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up?: And Other Thoughts From a 40-something Mom (May 6, 2025, Jossey-Bass).
Welcome! Tell our listeners a little bit about yourself.
What motivated you to write the book?
How do you think motherhood has changed for our generation? (For better or worse)
I heard on The Diary of a CEO podcast with Dr. Sara Szal, a Harvard-trained medical doctor and reserarcher, say that the ideal age for women to have their FIRST child is 24yrs old. This is for the health benefits of reduced estrogen exposure that the body experiences during pregnancy and nursing. It reduces cancer risks and things like that. BUT she admits she has NO friends who had a child before age 30.
You write that “I’m in my mid-40s. I gave up my career to raise my kids,” That you walked away from two college degrees and career to be a stay at home mom. Bonnie and I are finding that we began careers in our 40’s and that we had much more wisdom from our mothering experience to bring to those roles. What is your perspective on the potential career and family that we can have as women? The timeline of that?
How can women prepare for the empty-nest season of life? I think a lot of women, especially those who stayed home from jobs to raise a family, believe that life ends then. (Refers to the suggested question: What do you want to be when your kids grow up? 7 things you can work on now to make the most of your empty nest years later)
One of the pitfalls in being a mom and wife is that you can lose yourself in the care of others. Dr. Szal also notes that the drop in estrogen that begins in perimenopause and continues for the rest of our lives, actually makes us think differently. We get a perspective that is informed from a different mix of hormones in the body. How can we be aware of this and use it to our advantage?
You can find more information about Karen Johnson on her website the21stcenturysahm.com and find her on all social media as The 21st Century SAHM