What’s brave? If we consider all the things we could be afraid of, we can quickly see why don’t be afraid, in one form or another, is one of the most repeated commands in Scripture. But God calls us to “be strong and of good courage” (Daniel 10:19).
How do we become courageous?
Fear is often our natural response. We don’t have to think about all our reasons to be afraid; fear comes unbidden. Being strong and courageous doesn’t come naturally. God calls us to courage because it doesn’t just come naturally; we have to fight for it. Courage must be seized.
Courage is being very, very afraid and doing it anyway.
Today we are talking with Jessica Patay, a mom of 3 grown children from Los Angeles, CA. She’s part of an organization called Wearebravetogether.org, which came about because Jessica found herself in a community she hadn’t expected to be in.
Her son (now 20 yrs old) was diagnosed with Prater-Willi syndrome, which is a rare genetic disorder that gives you an insatiable demand for food. It can be life-threatening and comes with other behaviors (aggression, e.g,) that also have to be managed. As a result of her son’s condition, the Patay family must live with their kitchen locked. Her son’s two siblings have witnessed and participated in situations where their brother had to be restrained.
As they navigated the landscape of this syndrome and the effects it had on their entire family, Jessica at first was drawn to support groups of parents facing the same condition in their children. One “mentor mom” reached out personally to answer any questions she might have and help her work through what might lie ahead.
Jessica quickly realized it was COMMUNITY that saved them. ALL of parenting is hard, even with “typical” children, and we were never meant to do any of it alone. But when you add the difficulty and challenges of raising a chronically ill child, it becomes a non-negotiable. As a result, she started the Brave Together organization, where parents and siblings of children facing health challenges can be heard and, effectively, ministered to in a safe, understanding place.
It’s so important to feel like “You’re Not the Only One,” Jessica says. Like you’re not going crazy and the things that are “normal” in your life aren’t actually normal. Realizing that and having people help you deal with that and care for your OWN well being and mental health is critical. There’s a cyclical grief in “altered motherhood,” and it’s necessary and healthy to be able to admit that and feel it and move through it, even as you’re going to the doctor appointments and wrestling the health care system.
A book has come out of the conversations and community. It’s an anthology from moms around the country—who’ve contributed their own stories, sometimes about siblings, marriage, and the challenges and sometimes humor that have become normal for them. It’s called Becoming Brave Together.
Mothers are the invisible backbone of families. When touched by disability, chronic illness, and unique needs, their days are woven with exhaustion, isolation, and an unshakeable love that defies definition. The anthology cracks open the world of mothers like these, moms Jessica calls “caregiving mothers.”
The book is a bridge, built to educate and open eyes and hearts to the hidden struggles of this incredible community of mothers. It’s a reminder that we are not alone, that vulnerability can be our greatest strength, and that, together, we can create a world where every mother feels seen, supported, and empowered.
Where does their resilience come from? Jessica relays that she believes it’s a shift from a “Why me” sort of perspective to a “what now” view. It allows caregiving moms to take small steps of progress and climb the mountain that’s in front of them rather than despair and lose hope at the entire mountain range they might face.
To hear more about the amazing community of caregiving moms & for interviews and conversations about parenting children with challenges, you can catch Jessica on her podcast, Brave Together Parenting!
DONATE TO WE ARE BRAVE TOGETHER HERE.