The mother-daughter relationship can be one of the closest–and most fraught–relationships we have.
Having read a bit about this since losing my own mother in my early 20’s, I know that a young girl identifies with and takes so many cues from her mother (the same sex parent), intentionally or not. At a certain age, developmentally, an emerging adult (tween/teen) will pull away from that parent as part of establishing her own self as an individual. This is not personal, although it’s really common for moms to feel it personally.
We have as our guest today Nellie Harden, creator and founder of the 6570 Project, and author & speaker. She’s also a mom to FOUR daughters and has walked through the teen minefield a time or two herself.
Introduction: Nellis focuses on helping parents love and lead their teen/tween daughters in a way that gives them a strong foundation of worth, esteem and confidence. She’s a wife, a mom to 4 teenage daughters, a retired homeschool parent and an adventure chaser.
Where from, ages of daughters, etc. Some of the courses and resources you offer – found on nellieharden.com.
Where did you get the idea for the 6570 Project and can you tell us what that is?
This project is built around the idea that parents are truly the ARCHITECTS of the beginning of their child’s life. Everything we do as adults ultimately comes back to these crucial and formative first 18-25 years in some way and we as parents have the profound opportunity to build a strong foundation that will support them through it all. We want to make the most of those days with intention and focus. Aim is to arm daughters with confidence and foundation.
You’re the author of something called The Daughter Decoder, and that title is fantastic. Communication can be so tricky, especially when dealing with a sometimes prickly teen who is figuring out who she is and who she’s not and separating herself from you (her mom) in emotional, social, and physical ways. How does one decode a daughter??
How do you think the first half of childhood differs from the second? For moms who are in that transition or who soon will be, what changes do we need to make to navigate that divide??
You wrote a book, 40 Scriptures and Conversations to have When Raising Daughters.
The greatest gift you can give your daughter is a firm foundation of Worth, Esteem and Confidence. Everything in her life–experiences,obstacles and even other people–will challenge one or all 3 of these aspects of her foundation in some way.
For today’s conversation, we knew it would be a stretch to cover all 40 conversations, so we asked you to pick your top 10 favorites. Let’s just walk through (some of) this list and talk a bit about WHY you think these particular conversations are important to have and HOW to have them.
- Genesis 16:13–she gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”
- Psalm 139: 13-14 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
- Prov 31: 10-31
- Matthew 5:14-16 You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
- Gal 5:13: You, my brothers & sisters, were called to be free. But dont use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather serve one another humbly in love.
- Prov 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.
- Matthew 7:3-5 Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but don’t notice the log that is in your own eye?
- Rom 12:2 Don’t conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–His good, pleasing and perfect will.
- Phil 4:8 whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy…think about such things.
- 2 Tim 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid but gives us power love and self-discipline.