Kids. We love ‘em to pieces. They bring joy to our lives and the second we find out we’re pregnant or that first time we kiss their sweet faces, well, we absolutely cannot imagine life without them. But along with all of the hugs and snuggles and laughter and joy, kids bring… chaos!
Yep. Having kids can make staying organized really, really hard. And if you weren’t that inclined to be organized before having kids, well, you can feel like you’re drowning once that little one comes with all the diapers, furniture, sleepers, toys, bath items, high chairs, baby bottles, bibs, burp cloths… you get the idea.
Well, today, we are happy to have a professional organizer with us, Gabri Goodwyn. She’s going to help us think through some practical steps to have less clutter and, as Marie Kondo would say, create spaces that spark joy! Welcome!
Tell us a little bit about yourself: Gabri is 28, graduated with a fine arts degree, and has worked at A FRESH SPACE in Nashville for the past 3 years.
What do you think are the biggest obstacles to maintaining an organized home?
- Time
- Fear/feeling overwhelmed
- Lack of knowledge
- Procrastination
- Perfectionism
- Our inner struggles are sometimes mirrored by physical disorganization. People often create piles of clutter around their living spaces when they are simultaneously letting unresolved mental issues sit neglected.
Lack of materials/ space
If your obstacle is financial and you’re struggling with space or materials, get creative! One of my favorite tricks is to determine the organizational item you require and find it on Amazon. Next, scroll down to the bottom of the description where there are usually options to click “Buy new” or “Buy used.” These options allow you to purchase the product for a reduced price. Oftentimes, the products are perfectly good open-box items that were returned.
You may have to be flexible with the products you choose, but organizing materials generally lend themselves to options and flexibility. A can of spray paint and the wicker basket section of Goodwill came through when I was a broke college student. There is really no end of ways to creatively organize your home on a budget if you keep an open mind. Maybe your children’s Easter baskets would look cute to corral their endless collection of stuffed animals!
What can parents do to remove those obstacles?
Consider asking yourself, Why do I put off dealing with this particular space? Most of the time, procrastination has roots. I recently realized I put off cleaning out the fridge because I feel guilty for wasting any expired food. Unearthing the emotional motivation behind disorganization can be super helpful.
Let’s talk about some of the hardest areas of the home to keep clutter-free and what we can do to conquer them:
Kitchen
Mudroom/Entryway
Bonus room/Playroom
Kids’ Bedrooms
Garage
Instead of one space being harder than another, there are general principles that can apply to all these rooms/areas. As in the Not So Big House, get curious & ask yourself questions. How do we really use this area? How do we really live? Can we repurpose a formal unused space into a more useable area for all of us? For example, a formal dining room becomes a home office or gym? How do we use an area MOST OF THE TIME. If a guest bedroom is only used once a year or less, maybe it can do double or triple duty as something else.
Get a couple of empty bins and AS YOU FIND STUFF, RIGHT THEN mark it “too small” or put it in a “donate” bin. Don’t just toss in laundry or automatically stick it back in the cabinet or closet if it isn’t something you love and are using.
What are some simple things that every mom could do to stay more organized?
Always be decluttering
Once per month or at least every other month I go through our toy bins and throw away anything that is broken or worn out. I donate anything that the Cs no longer play with and just do a general overhaul of what they have, only keeping items that are in good shape and are played with often.
Create simple systems that kids can maintain
I try to keep things as simple as possible, especially when it comes to organizing their things, so that straightening up is not just “my thing” and they can help. For us, this means that I use a lot of CLEAR bins that are open at the top. I’ve found that when I use lidded bins, they’re more likely to set stuff on top of them rather than open them up and put things inside. If you have a child with ADHD, this is even more imperative. Make a craft day or fun project out of putting labels or PICTURES (for younger children who can’t yet read) on the front.
LESS IS MORE. Children are overwhelmed with too much choice & too much stuff. START with less and ask family members to NOT contribute to piling stuff up. Instead, ask for experiences or memberships or subscriptions as gifts.
Decide what you can live with. One mom we spoke to (with lots of kids) let go of the laundry & let the kids live out of separate laundry baskets of clean clothes. Eliminated the folding & putting away & hanging up…. If that makes you twitchy, then maybe that’s not for you, but the point is to simplify & relax.
Separate Toys by Type
switch to a bin system, with each type of toy having its own bin so that the Cs can easily find the items they want by themselves.
Label bins
I use labels as much as possible, again so that everyone knows where things go and doesn’t just rely on mommy to put stuff away. Connor is reading, but Caleb is not yet, so I still try to make sure that the majority of the labels I use have a picture and words.
Clean up for just a few minutes before naps and bedtime
Sometimes I’ll set a timer and we’ll race to see how fast we can clean up. Other times I’ll turn on fun music and we combine clean up time with a dance party. Sometimes we turn it into a competition. There are lots of ways to make clean up time a little bit more fun.
If you’ve got some structure in your day (and supervision esp for little kids), they’re not roaming the house constantly pulling out every toy & book there is. There’s a playtime with SPECIFIC toys in a SET area. When that’s done, you clean up & move to the next thing. That saves you from coming in at the end of the day to a completely destroyed bedroom or playroom. It minimized chaos & frustration.
Have little jobs that are just “their” thing
Maybe they could be in charge of finding their snacks in the bags of groceries and arranging them in the pantry. Maybe they could sort the dirty laundry into whites, lights, and colors. Maybe they could be in charge of matching up clean socks. There are plenty of small jobs that even little kids can take ownership of that not only take the jobs off of mom’s plate, but get the kids into the routine of helping as well.
This helps kids feel like contributors & teammates. (REFER to podcast on Teaching kids to NOTICE). Instead of chore charts or even using the word chore, you could flip the script and talk to your kids in terms of their ROLE and then think up some ROLES they could play for a week at a time. Teachers do this at school—they have line leaders, time keepers, etc. in a classroom so everyone’s working together.
How about: zookeeper (feeding pets, scooping litter box); forest ranger (waters plants); librarian (picks bedtime book); chef or asst. Chef (helps plan or make lunch or breakfast); news reporter/historian (spotlights happenings, birthdays, someone being kind, etc. & gives out stickers)….
Have a system for all the paper that comes home
basically, the majority of the paper is thrown away/recycled. I have an area in our living room where I display special projects, crafts, or excellent work. This display is constantly being switched out, with the older pieces being discarded. I keep a sampling of their work from each school year (25-30 pieces at the most) in a labeled and divided file box that we store in their closet. This system allows us to have a representation of what they’ve done each year without keeping piles and piles and piles of paperwork that need to be stored.
For all that artwork: keep a bin for each child, and at the end of each year, you can get a Costco price for shutterfly… take pictures of it and make a slim book for each school year. That way, you get the memories without all the bulk and stacking up. Artkive will also provide this service for you.
Have a system for hand-me-down clothes
See a mom named Abby who labels her bins with the inventory inside: https://justagirlandherblog.com/organizing-hand-downs-free-printables/
Can you give us the steps to clean out a closet? Or a drawer? Just general guidelines?
The best remedy for this situation always comes in the form of an edit. In the world of organization, we refer to the art of pairing down (removing junk or putting together a Goodwill bag) as editing.
This is a gentle way of saying, “You own too many shoes.” By now, most people have heard such phrases as, “Do these mud-caked sneakers bring you joy?”, and, “Is this pair of hot pink eight-inch heels still serving you?” The concept of sorting one’s belongings and asking hard questions doesn’t sound too bad, but where most people fall into trouble is the overwhelming sight of all one-hundred-twenty-three pairs of shoes in one place—and the realization that they must ask these questions one-hundred-twenty-three times.
My advice is to gather all the shoes, take them out of the closet, pick out your most worn pairs, and then begin to fill the closet with your favorites. Immediately stop when the space feels comfortably full. Survey this lovely shoe collection. Would you be happy if these were the only shoes you had access to?
Keep in mind, we are psychologically happier when we have fewer choices. When I did this recently, I realized most of the shoes that were not fitting in the closet were primarily worn on special occasions. So I purchased an under-the-bed bin for shoes, and I tucked my “I’m-a-bridesmaid flats” and my “annual-family-canoe-trip sandals” out of sight.
Some items, especially in a closet, may be items that you used to frequently wear but have since been replaced with an item you enjoy using even more. These items can be the hardest to get rid of because when you look at them, you visualize all the good use the item brought you—but in reality, you would be content to utilize the newer alternative. Force yourself to ask the hard questions about the remaining shoes.
What about keepsakes and special things???
In regards to dealing with keepsakes and unwanted gifts, you need to ask yourself the following set of questions –
- Do I use it?
- Do I love it?
- Would I miss it if I lost it?
- Is it a favorite?
- Does it hold a special memory?
If the answer is no to any of these questions, then it is taking up valuable space in your home and is not worth holding onto. If you are feeling bad or guilty about getting rid of an item, think about whether your friends and family would want you to keep something that didn’t make you happy.
Remind yourself that a ‘thing’ is not a representation of your relationship with the person. Having the above questions in your mind while decluttering will really help you be more decisive.
I think a good mindset to have when considering keepsakes is one of ‘do unto others as you would have them do to you’ is it really blessing your children to save boxes upon boxes of items that they will one day have to sift through? Or are you creating a huge project for the future?
Once a gift is given it’s yours to do as you like.
Keeping the sorts of things that you don’t love or keeping them out of guilt “because you spent money on it” is punishing yourself twice. Every time you see that object or pile of objects, you’re putting yourself through visual regret. That is not a positive feeling or way to live.
Keep in mind the generation gap in this sort of thinking, too. Younger generations (30’s and under) live a minimalist, paring-down lifestyle. They typically aren’t going to want great grandma’s china or grandpa’s collections. They might keep ONE teacup or ONE special pocket knife but have no desire to store, look at or cart around STUFF. If you are older and are thinking you’re going to pass this along to eager younger people, you may be wrong.
Health Benefits of Organizing
Lots of different articles tout the health benefits of organizing and it seems like common sense. By making the effort to find order, you’re improving your physical and mental health. Now, if making time for wellness was one of your goals for 2020, then this should get your attention. Your wellbeing is directly linked to the state of your physical environment. So, to improve your wellbeing, you need to improve your surroundings. Being organized benefits your health in the following ways:
- Improve your sleeping habits.
- Reduce your stress and increases your happiness.
- It lowers your risk of cardiovascular events such as a heart attack.
- It decreases depression or anxiety.
- Improves your eating habits.
- Boosts your energy and productivity.
With all these benefits associated with being organized, it makes the effort of getting organized worthwhile!