As we end this year and move on to the next, we thought it would be a good time to review, to contemplate, to meditate. Post-eggnog, it’s easy to speed forward with gusto and juice-cleanse your system from all the holiday indulgence. If you’re a future-oriented thinker, you likely love planning, goal-setting, and getting stoked about what lies ahead.
But we want to take a moment to suggest you ease your foot onto the brake for a day or two. Give yourself space and freedom to reflect on the past year.
The writer of Proverbs puts it this way:
As water reflects the face,
so one’s life reflects the heart.
God is letting us in on a secret here: we can get a glimpse into our hearts when we look at our lives. How are we spending our time? Our money? What are we thinking about? What are we ignoring? These are just some of the things you can ask yourself as you close out the old year and ring in the new.
And because we want to LIVE what we TEACH on this podcast, we thought we’d ask ourselves these questions as we reflect on what 2023 has meant to us.
Thanks to The Art of Simple for providing the list we’re using today!
20 Questions
- What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
Renee: Family Christmas trip in January to Grand Caymans, Starting our own business in January, Cheyana’s wedding in March, Speaking w/ H at a Mother-Son retreat in PA, In April: the best concert we’ve ever been to (Jamie Cullum at Scoot Inn in Austin, TX) and finding out that we’re having another grandchild that month, really starting to train regularly in deliverance prayer in May as well as learning about something called Workplace Prayer (more on that in our most challenging thing question), our POOL getting finished in July, Speaking at the SCT and w/ YOU, Bonnie, in August and September at two women’s conferences (NB and in upstate NY w/ our friend, Dawn), Taking a girls trip w/ my mom to Charleston, SC, Stepping out of my comfort zone to go to a women’s retreat outside DC called Swallowtail, Praying for a former student of mine to get into Joel Salatin’s Polyface Farm intern program and getting the text that he made it in!, staycation w/ our kids after Thanksgiving
Bonnie: I had a novel published in December 2022–Light to the Hills–so 2023 ended up being full of book-related events & activities. Unexpected & delightful. Speaking at a conference in San Antonio, several engagements at book groups around the state–Memphis, Nashville, here locally. Interacting with people who’d interacted with words I’d written was pretty special.
- What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
Renee: Starting our own business in our early 50’s. So many moving parts (and we saw God in many of the details: from just the right building coming available for sale to the big picture, stepping out in faith that leaving a job requires)
Bonnie: Learning to grow around the grief I felt after losing my father in late 2021. Carrying a lot of grief in general for family and change & relationships that weren’t what I longed for. Then just a couple months ago losing my FIL unexpectedly and watching my husband go through the same thing in parallel. Pretty tough year.
- What was an unexpected joy this past year?
Renee: Finding out Emma was pregnant!
Bonnie: I feel like I’m going to have the same answer for a lot of these: the after effects of my book launch! Meeting new people associated with that & getting involved with other writers in the area.
- What was an unexpected obstacle?
Renee: There were several unexpected hurdles when we started the business; this led us to seek out a team to pray for us. We paid them like you would pay a business consultant. Things turned around almost immediately.
Bonnie: How much my emotional state affected productivity/creativity. It did teach me to be more gentle with myself. To be way more ok with emotions coming & going, teaching me a little something or helping me grow a little, and then dusting off & getting on with things. I’m MUCH more comfortable with tears and spontaneous weeping in public than I used to be!!
- Pick three words to describe this past year.
Renee: challenges, joy, intimacy
Bonnie: trust, healing, friendship
- Ask your husband or close friend for three words they would use to describe YOUR year.
Renee: growth, softening, celebration
Bonnie: perseverance, hope, discovery
- Pick three words for your husband or close friend to describe THEIR year.
Renee: For David: diligence, sacrifice,
Bonnie: For Bob: solidarity, support, transition
- What were the best books you read this year?
Renee:
Unseen Realm by Michael Heiser (examines the ancient context of Scripture, explaining how its supernatural worldview can help us grow in our understanding of God),
The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled People by Dr Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey (how to build habits that fill our lives with greater joy and satisfaction),
The Incurables (written by a surgeon who began to really hear from God about how to help her patients: her focus is integrating the healing of the body with that of the mind and spirit),
Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes by Kenneth Bailey (he explains the parables of Jesus, among other things),
Beginning to Pray (Anthony Bloom, Metropolitan Anthony Sourozh, a Metropolitan bishop of the Russian Orthodox church who lived his later years in the U.K) Among his observations, Bloom notes that we are often concerned that God does not come to us when we pray, but that, frankly, most of the time we are not very attentive to God (p. 26). He advocates for a posture of true humility before the Lord in prayer. True humility, Bloom suggests, provides fertile ground for our relationship with God (p. 35). While advocating simple vocal prayer like the Jesus Prayer, Bloom also recommends that we just sit with the Lord silently: “If you speak all the time, you don’t give God a chance to place a word in” (p. 92). The latter part of the book speaks of making one’s relationship with God personal,
God’s Transmitters by Hannah Hurnard (Hind’s feet on High Places author who writes about prayer as making us transmitters and conductors of God’s light and life and love for others)
Bonnie: All the Broken Places (John Boyne) sequel to the Boy in the Striped Pajamas; Above the Waterfall (Ron Rash) one of my fav Appalachian writers, always weaves a good story with complex characters; Unseen Realm (wut?!?). My focus was “off” this year & I couldn’t concentrate on reading like I have in the past!
- Who were your most valuable relationships with?
Renee: My family, from continuing a relationship with my adult children to building one with my granddaughter, Dottie Lou, to David, of course. I love what Jordan Peterson says about marriage: you’re vowing to STAY. You won’t walk away. And what I’m finding in my third decade of marriage is that there are so many unexpected treasures from staying. So much shared history. So much comfort in having that person who won’t walk away even as you unveil your heart to yourself and to them. My prayer mentors, Mike and Michelle, were also super important as is my relationship to you, Bob, and our friends, Dawn and Jeremy.
Bonnie: My family as well. When troubles hit your core unit, it makes you re-evaluate what it is you love and value about those closest to you, what you’re willing to sacrifice or suffer through for them. There are so many relationship permutations when your family grows—it’s not just you & spouse and your relationship with each child; it’s their relationships with one another & your relationship with new additions… the heart’s capacity is endless & varied. It’s cool.
- What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
Renee: Prayer
Bonnie: Multiple exercises of trust.
- In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
Renee: More love for myself and, therefore, for others. I did a 30-day joy challenge that was helpful in changing how I think.
Bonnie: See above… Im more willing to admit/show a variety of emotions; more ABLE to and less embarrassed by that piece of myself. Altho I DO wish I could be one of those beautiful criers. Sigh….
- In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
Renee: Prayer, for sure.
Bonnie: Learning to hear God, REALLY HEAR. Learning to trust and wait. Willingness to be changed.
- In what way(s) did you grow physically?
Renee: Yoga, attention to my body and how it responds to emotions I’m feeling.
Bonnie: I got fluffier.
- In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
Renee: Had a big pool project that put hospitality on hold for several months. I just couldn’t muster the emotional energy to do that in the chaos. (I know this about myself after several moves, so I just went with it but I still missed hosting.) Despite that, I grew in my relationship with my grown kids and their spouses, especially Kate and Emma. Hanging out with the girls is a joy I didn’t have much of my life growing up, being surrounded by brothers and boy cousins. I grew in prayer with others and made some new friends who were farther down the path than I am. (Looking at you, Mike and Michelle!)
Bonnie: Reconnected with old friends in some truly beautiful ways, despite the circumstances that began that reconnection. First year we’ve had our DIL really with us, so it’s been fun spending time with & getting to know her better.
- What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
Renee: Home: creating a beautiful outdoor space for our family and to share with others. Work: Speaking engagements are always challenging but so much fun! I want a fresh word from God for each one, so that always takes faith to wait for that and not re-use everything I’ve done before.
Bonnie: Home: opening our home to someone as a temporary landing spot. It’s a bit of a risk to share your space but it wasn’t even a question whether we’d do it and I really loved the unexpected add’l connection it added to our lives. Work: Getting some unexpected & FUN speaking engagements with you as a result of this podcast. Nuts!
- What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
Renee: Home: Living with construction almost all year. Forced to stay in the moment and compartmentalize to seize some joy in the moment. Work: learning to trust God in the trials and the triumphs, both. Despite the fairly large obstacles early on, we had our most successful year to date.
Bonnie: Home: We built a barndominium this year…so we also had construction half the year. It was a fun project which I’m grateful for–b/c of all the potential ways we have to use it, but I was glad to see the blue porta-potty leave the driveway. Work: focus, focus, focus!!
- What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
Renee: Social media! Gotta get that phone under control.
Bonnie: TV in the evenings, but I’m counting that as something we enjoy and use as our winding-down time together, so it’s not a total loss.
- What was the best way you used your time this past year?
Renee: Time with friends and family (our themed dinners w/ Blaylocks/Harrisons, days by the pool, d-group mornings, prayer nights with and for friends and family)
Bonnie: Having groups in our home regularly to connect & share with. Travel & dinners with friends. Didn’t get much time with my extended family this year, but that’s on the docket for 24.
- What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?
Renee: That prayer, at least in many ways, is standing in the gap between God and a hurting world. As Hannah Hurnard puts it, “An intercessor is one who is in such vital contact with God and with others that he is like a live wire closing the gap between the the saving power of God and those who have been cut off from that power. Faith brings me in contact with Jesus and love brings me in contact with those for whom I pray.
Bonnie: That doing your own “work” can have a timeline impact. When you heal and renounce things in your own life, it can have an energetic ripple effect backwards & forwards–to your past & future and to generations before & after you.
Create a phrase or statement that describes this past year for you.
Renee: I got an email from Amy Joy Lykosh in November of 2023 that kind of sums up how the year was for us and the phrase I’m using from that email is “sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.” She was referring to the book The Dip by Seth Godin. The idea is that when we start something new, we begin with enthusiasm… Yay! Something new! But then the reality of the task at hand hits us in the face. That’s the dip. What was once thrilling is now distressing. Our initial enjoyment wears off and we muddle our way forward in a swirl of incompetence and frustration.
Backyard project that took ONE YEAR? Definitely the first half of 2023 felt like a dip.
Deliverance prayer? Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.
Opening a new business? Exciting! Exhilarating! Then… the dip. And yet we sought wise counsel and help, persisted, and by God’s direction, we walked up and out of that dip.
Family situations, tending friendships, experiences at church… each of those had a dip.
Amy Joy reminded me that sometimes we do all that we know to do and yet it doesn’t seem to make a difference. If anything, it gets worse. It’s not fun. But this is also part of the call to be faithful.
She prayed at the end of that email, “Lord, sometimes the life of faith is compared to a walk. But in the book of Ephesians, Paul says, ‘having done all, to stand.’ Sometimes all we can do is stand our ground.
And yet, even though that’s not moving forward, it is still something.
Thank you for the testimonies of the saints that it’s not unheard of to face a situation worsening before it improves. Be with us, in our walking, our standing, our grieving, and our faithfulness.”
Bonnie: A good friend & I have joked that we were going to have Tshirts made for this past year—AW, SHOOT: 2023–because so many less than stellar things happened for us kind of all at once. So,…that, in part, but flippantly. But in an effort to be positive I’m going to say something from a prayer I’ve been praying: Protect My Hope. When we’re in a tough season and feel ready to give up again & again, hope is the thing that’s under attack & needs reinforcements. God has been merciful enough to do that for me repeatedly… breathing new life into a hope that sometimes seems flatlined. Every time.
We hope this has been helpful for you! Why not take some time to honor the past year by celebrating your joys, mourning your losses, and shaking your head at the wonder of it all. Isn’t it amazing another year has passed? And so the earth goes round and round, about to orbit once more.
Whatever you’re doing to celebrate, the first few days of a new year is a great time for reflection. A whole year has passed since the last one. You’re a year older. Are you a year wiser?
https://www.theartofsimple.net/new-years-eve-reflection-questions/